Performing Effectively Under Stress

      When I was 16 , I remember talking to Les,  (65 yr old   farmer who worked for my dad.)   At coffee break  the two of us were talking about what it felt like being 65 yrs old (on the inside).  I will never forget what he said…“Doug, it still feels like there is a little kid inside of me..”

     Well, I’m  pushing 50, and  I have to say I  feel like  I am a 21 with 28 years experience.  I love being the age I am at. 

       Today I attended my last gun safety class.  We were on a shooting range using handguns…..One of our exercises was to see how we would respond under pressure while we attempted to carry out a series of  predetermined instructions….Guess what….I rocked!…I did much better under pressure than when there was no pressure….go figure….I am convinced that a lot of it can be attributed to dealing with pressure from my job….Being a general contractor  has it’s own set of pressures, just like every other job.  What are some of my pressures?…well, try to keep a crew 4 people productive when you are  being paid by the hour, the customer is on the job-site, and some of your crew members aren’t sure what to do, and the customer knows it.

     Or, cash-flow pressures….the homeowner owes you $10,000 but won’t pay you until you address some problems…meanwhile, you need that money in the bank NOW  so you can  write pay checks this week and pay your quarterly taxes on Friday.

  Or leaks…phone rings ..it’s raining (again)…same deep voice of GM…he STILL  has a leak dripping onto his new light colored  carpet coming through the double french doors  ( for the third time)   In the end, it turns out, it isn’t my  fault…previous carpenter flashed  the existing house incorrectly.

     I still remember my first real butt chewing from a customer …He ripped me up one side and down the other…he was pissed.  I knew he had  reason to be upset..not so much with me, but with two other subs…I just happened to be the one who tried to address a problem, rather than avoid it…. While that situation was unnerving,  it also gave me a bench mark to compare it to future butt chewing’s…and it grew a  type of resilience in my soul.

     Now less you think I have my act all together and never struggle  check out this

  Today was a fun day, I discovered something new about myself….I thrived under  pressure, not something you can  pick up from reading a book….thanks in advance to those of you that choose to leave a comment!

Thoughts on Personal Protection and Stuff

  Growing up, I hated my name…Doug..sounded so DUuuu.   As I’ve gotten older, I’ve actually come to love my name…which by the way, isn’t Doug…it’s Douglas.   I’ve decided to try my hand at writing what’s really happening  in my head…, not just a sanitized version.     That  gut level transparency is what I love most about the blogs I subscribe to such as : http://krislinatin.wordpress.com/   http://lissakaye.wordpress.com/   http://rindy.wordpress.com/  http://msp31wannabe.blogspot.com/  http://heaintthroughwithmeyet.wordpress.com/ http://mirroredgrace.wordpress.com/

  and http://enola-survivor.blogspot.com:80/  on occassion.

    So, are you ready?…Here’what I’ve really been up to today.

     Today I spent 4 hours in a gun safety class.  I loved it!  (Footnote:  I own my own construction business, currently have 2 full time and 1 part time employee…which gives me the freedom to call my own schedule within reason.  Anyway, back to the class…

      The instructor was awesome.  He taught by telling stories.    There are 7 students in the class, 6 guys and one woman.  The tone of the class time was decidedly “politically incorrect”    I used to hunt when I was younger,  lost the “Killing urge”  when I was 19, but would have no trouble shooting something  if I  needed to  eat, or stop an intruder as last resort.   I grew up on a farm.  One winter, my pet calf got a bad case of pheumonia, I found the poor little fella stuck one morning in the dead of winter under a fence.  He could  hardly  breath, past the point where medicine could help him,  so I took him out behind the barn and put him down.   I will spare you the details….I HATED  to do it, but sometimes  you have to do things in life, you’d rather not do….and this was one of those times.   I can’t quite tell you why,  but I know that was a watershed event in my life.  Growing up on a working dairy farm has a way of shaping you in a way  that is impossible to duplicate.  You get to help out with  live births, death, chores twice a day, 7 days a week. etc.  

      Today  we talked about sheep, sheepdogs, and wolves in the class.  We also talked about pecking orders in animals and people.    Both examples resonated with me.    Our teacher suggested that people can be divided into sheep, sheepdogs and wolves.  Most of us are sheep… we’re totally naive to anyone doing us  harm.  We get up in the morning,  go to work,  Live our lives, mind our own business.    Then there are the wolves….wolves love to prey on the weak.   They intentionally pick out the young, the old, the vulnerable, the unsuspecting.    Unfortunately, they exist.  Finally, some people are like sheepdogs.   They are aware of their circumstances.  While they are not paranoid, you will have a harder time catching them off guard.  They are alert,  and they live their lives with an awareness that  stuff can happen, and they carry themselves accordingly.  We touched on common sense personal safety habits, (probably applies more to those of you living in higher crime zones than me, but  I was taking notes …..I have 3 daughters and a wife, so you can bet, I will pass along some of the tips he shared w/ us today including:

1. Statistically, the most dangerous place in America is a parking lot…so a little common sense can go along ways from being a “sheep”

2.  Don’t always park in the same spot and  stay away from vans, especially those with tinted windows.

3.  Mix up your routines in the morning, if you stop for coffee, go to different places.

     My mind is also racing tonight with the details of 3 jobs I am currently bidding on.  That’s one of the challenges of being a business owner vs. an employee… At this point, I have 3 to 5 weeks of work ahead  which is not alot going into the Winter.  Well, need to wrap this up for tonight.  If you read my  blog regularly, let me know if you stop by this week..thanks!  Douglas

If you’d like a good laugh click this link :    Click here: Alcohol & Ammo

Musings After A Hot Date

    My girlfriend and I were out on a date last night.  ( Yes it is possible to still have the warm fuzzies for each other after 28 years)  Neither one of us was in the mood for “fancy” so we opted for Country Kitchen.    Our waitress’s name was Stormy.    She had a great attitude,  nothing flashy, just upbeat and pleasant…..gave us the kind of attention that makes you want to leave a good tip. 

      I woke up this morning still thinking about Stormy’s attitude/ Why?  because  meeting people with a good attitude is both refreshing and rare.   Made me want to post a little something about attitudes, because while I’m far from a motivational speaker, I’ve discovered a few things about attitudes that have stuck with me….

 #1  A good attitude is something you do have control over and can be cultivated.    Paul the writer of a good portion of the New Testament said this : “For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound in any and every circumstance,  I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need.”    I  have learned…. he’s talking about learning to have an attitude of contentment…..having raised 4 children on a carpenter’s  income I can tell you candidly,  being content does not come automatically! The first 13 years of our marriage we RENTED    Was I content ?  No!   Our rent payment was almost as much as a morgage payment, plus I was building new houses for people  who were  driving BMW’s and Mercedes.  We were just getting by,  couldn’t  scrape together anything for a down payment….(at that time in history, there was no such thing as a 0 down payment…you needed at least 5%) . I realized the churning discontent, and frustration  of renting vs buying was wearing me out…..and I too learned how to be content in whatever situation I found myself….I would love to tell you more if you’re interested…drop me a note.

 #2  I  read a book by  Charles Swindoll Strengthening Your Grip  You may have seen this quote on a poster :

“Attitude by Charles Swindol”
“The longer I live,the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes,than what other people think of, say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…. a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you..we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

    Here is another portion of that book that  touched me:

     “Dr Victor Frankl, a bold, courageous Jew who became a prisoner during the Holocaust, endured years of indignity and humiliation by the Nazis before he was finally liberated.  At the beginning of his ordeal, he was marched into a gestapo courtroom.  His captors had taken away his home and family, his cherished freedom, his possessions, and even his watch and wedding ring.  They had shaved his head and stripped his clothing off his body.  There he stood before the German high command, under glaring lights being interrogated and falsely accused.  He was destitute, a helpless pawn in the hands of brutal, prejudiced, sadistic men.  He had nothing.  No, that isn’t true.  He suddenly realized there was one thing no one could ever take from him- just one.  Do you know what it was?

      Dr. Frankl realized he still had the power to choose his own attitude.  No matter what anyone would ever do to him, regardless of what the future held for him, the attitude choice was his to make.  Bitterness or forgiveness.  To give up or go on.  Hatred or hope.   Determination to endure or the paralysis of self-pity…”

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       And finally, as my daughter Angie just said to me after I read to her the rough draft of this post…….“Remember, you can choose what kind of “tude” you  wanna  sport today ”   DM