I started working for my dad when I was 14. One of the ”old timers” was Jake. He was quiet, gruff and a little intimidating. Flash forward to a few years ago. I’d been away from dad’s crew for 15 years and our crew was asked to help on a large project.
Side note….when I was younger, I cursed like a sailor, so much so the other men on the crew would ask me to tone it down sometimes . I tried…I honestly tried, but like any other bad habit, I couldn’t kick it. Words are simply an indication of what’s in our heart. if you listen to someone long enough, you’ll usually get a glimpse into the real person. When I became a Christian, one of the biggest indications to me that something profound had happened on the inside was my ability to hold my tongue. It was surreal. ( hold that thought.)
Getting back to my story. I’d been gone several years, Paul, Matt and myself were working along side Jake and the rest of dad’s crew. We were 25 feet up in the air on a lift:
installing 20 foot pieces of sheet metal over our heads. It was hot, metal filings would fall on your face, inside your shirt, on your arms. Speaking of arms, they were getting tired from working overhead. It was at this point that we lost electricity to our screw guns.
I looked down, there was Jake not too far from the electrical chords. I called down, ” Hey Jake, could you check our chord? We lost electricity.”’
Jake looked at me , cocked his head and growled something in our direction.
Out of nowhere, I heard a loud voice
”Plug in the f***’n cord!”
Whoa..where did that come from? Paul and Matt looked at me incredulously then burst out laughing.
Jake, like a dog with his tail between his legs ran over to the cluster of chords, wiggled them and we had juice.
Something happened that day. I”m still not sure I completely understand it, but It marked a change in my relationship with Jake. I expected him to give me the cold shoulder after that, but the opposite happened. (I’ve sensed nothing but respect) Now I’m not advocating we all go out and start swearing to get people in line, but relationships are a funny thing. What do you think happened between me and Jake?
July 4, 2008 at 7:18 pm |
hmm…interesting thoughts. What do I think happened? I think the past was brought back for a little bit. Old times were shared. And I think he knew what you REALLY meant.
Colby
colbystream.wordpress.com
July 4, 2008 at 8:07 pm |
You commanded his respect in a way that made sense to him?
July 5, 2008 at 8:00 am |
I totally get what you are saying. It is like being vulnerable in front of someone to the point of a real connection.
My wife has a great story of when she and a friend were out driving around at night and chatting while they should have been concentrating on the road. Both of them are good church going mothers who cringe at the thought of watching a PG movie. Anyway, they’re cruising down the road and my wife blasts through a stop sign. Upon noticing, she lets out an “Oh, S***!”
Both of them stop dead in their tracks of conversation and then start laughing hysterically. Years after that when we were moving away, the friend recounted that incident with more fondness than any other.
July 5, 2008 at 8:08 am |
Thank you all for your comments. Another funny thing about this whole incident is I was “mentoring” both Paul and Matt @ the time (spiritually and in the trade) and I didn’t loose any sleep over the fact I swore. Hey, I never claimed to be perfect- if anything, it just showed I’m human
July 5, 2008 at 8:45 pm |
Funny….yes another human moment.
So why are there so many crooked contractors????It’s refreshing to meet someone un-like many contractors ..what’s up with that? it’s like politicians…just wondering.
July 5, 2008 at 9:40 pm |
Crooked contractors…hummm, I’ve wondered that myself. At this point, the guys I hire as subs are all straight shooters. Over the years, I’ve had my share of run ins with both varieties …(crooks and people w/ integrity) Not sure I have an answer to that. I do know my dad has always had a reputation for being a man of integrity. Back in the early-mid 1970’s he was asked to be the general contractor for a new bank building and the whole thing was done on a handshake, if you can believe that. He always preached, “Look people in the eye and have a firm handshake…you can tell alot about a person by those sort of things.”
July 6, 2008 at 10:25 am |
I see this all the time in my job (school teacher). When you tell someone where to get off in a firm but socially appropriate way, they treat you with more respect. In fact, they usually come back for more.
July 7, 2008 at 6:36 pm |
Just another reminder that there has (and will be only One) who walked this Earth that has nail scars in His hands and feet. The rest of us will continue to struggle at different levels…. off and on.
July 9, 2008 at 2:53 pm |
The same thing that happened between my mother in law and me…
For the first five years of knowing her, she was cold, nasty, would roll her eyes, disrespectful, rude, spiteful, looked me up and down to “size me up”, would call and ask to talk to “her little boy”, etc. (We nickname her “The Iron Maiden” to this day. She is one icy woman!)
Well, I heard that she was spreading some nonsense about my mother behind our backs. I called her up on the phone and blasted the witch.
Funny thing happened. She respected me after that. She was actually nice to me after that. I thought she would never speak to me again (didn’t care really, but still).
It takes all kinds. My husband said she never respects anyone until they can stick up for themselves. How bizarre.
July 9, 2008 at 3:07 pm |
HAAAA!!!! That’s HYSTERICAL! I think it was just a moment of being human. Sometimes when you have these moments in front of others, it opens up a whole new portal to a relationship. Sometimes, when we are friends with non-Christians, we are viewed as unattainable good-doers with flawless records. But when you can get right down to it, and reveal fallibility, that helps tighten the bond with those who feel they might be constantly judged by THEIR actions or words. This type of thing breaks down those walls, and a whole new world of honesty emerges, and often the revealing of flaws helps bring those to a whole new acceptance level for Christians, that we aren’t all roses all the time either…. I’m not sailor, but my mouth certainly could use some soap at times, but at the same time, I feel like those I speak to don’t feel intimidated and judged because I try to bring a relaxed dialog that’s respectful and honest, but not always perfect and shiny. Make sense??
I hope you are well, my friend!!!!!! How’s things in CR? Flooding down??
August 4, 2008 at 4:36 pm |
enough with this “coarse jesting” ;0P