“Newspapers, books, baseball, football, basketball, television, sunshine, friends….and then comes me.” Recently, I discovered this entry in my 1977 journal. After two years of marriage, I feared my importance had diminished in my husband’s eyes. As I result, I felt jealous of everything he did that didn’t include me.
Discipleship Journal Issue 93 May/June 1996 Elaine Creasman
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The words jumped off the page. They echoed conversations in our home of late.
If my wife were to write such a list, I’m guessing it might read: e-mails,blogging, the whole darn INTERNET.
It also took me back to a season in our relationship where I felt a similar pang .
Wife was spending more and more time with an older woman- over the course of a year they had become inseparable….long walks, trips to the cone shop, soaks in the hot tub, Sunday afternoon movies, movies on week nights, trips to sporting events to watch her kids play. Where once I was first place in her affections, I sensed a drifting….
hold that thought while we shift gears….
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The article continued:
”The LORD whose name is Jealous is a Jealous God. ”
Such verses had always bothered me. The word jealousy brought to mind self-centeredness, paranoia, and insecurity. Intense jealousy destroys relationships. Surely God is not like that, I thought.
After reading more ….I came to a conclusion: God eagerly and passionately pursues a monogamous love relationship with me. He isn’t jealous because he is fearful or greedy. Rather, He wants to guard against anything that comes between us. His goal is to keep me faithful and protect our love relationship from rivals….”
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Have you ever been in a relationship where you sensed a drifting or cooling off of the other party?
How did that make you feel?
What did you do? (or not do)
By the way, I’m not done with this post- it’s just a rough draft, I sense there are still some major aspects of this theme I need to develop
July 11, 2008 at 11:54 am |
From the greek
http://www.searchgodsword.org/lex/grk/view.cgi?number=2206
from the hebrew
http://www.searchgodsword.org/lex/heb/view.cgi?number=07067
and
http://www.searchgodsword.org/lex/heb/view.cgi?number=07065
i have had that happen, i used to be more hurt by it, now i try to discern the motive behind the feeling. we too as humans want to guard against anything coming between our relationships and wanting to have the other party remain faithful.
But God has the only right to want, desire and deserve that from us.
and we should only want that with Him.
with humans relationships, we are desirious of that but its pretty unrealistic.
Why? because we are sinful by nature, doing what we desire more than what others desire or need.ok, im done, have a great weekend. i havent heard from Winston much, is she on internet restriction?
kristina
July 11, 2008 at 5:22 pm |
At times I have wondered what God was imagining when He made the decision to create me. I mean it’s not like He needed another man.
Here’s where I have landed (currently). When the Lord began to knit me together in my mothers womb I think it was for relationship. He want’s me to have such a relationship with Him that when He speaks I hear and act. Too become a Christ-like man. Too be a reflection of the things Written, righteous, loving, giving more than asked of me, etc.
I have children of my own. I am absolutely am convinced and thankful that the Lord is a much, much more long suffering Father than I.
I could specifically answer the three questions you pose. It was before I met Jesus and very messy and although “it” happened more than a decade ago “it” is still immensely painful to me, my wife and my girls.
July 11, 2008 at 7:17 pm |
Great post. You know marriage is a fluid thing. Kinda like a comfortable shoe. It may stay in the closet, sitting there waiting, watching as you wear all of the other shoes. But in the end, when you really want comfort, happiness, and peace – those are the shoes you choose… right?
It doesn’t lesson your love to have these periods, it gives each other a new dimension of experience to talk about. I know for me who stays at home, I really don’t have much exciting to say. When I go out with a friend, and we do something, I then get to come home and share it. You know?
July 11, 2008 at 9:36 pm |
I’ve often wondered about this also. Is it a bad thing or is it a season of something different? You can read Psalms and see the same thing where David is asking “Where are you God?” in one verse and saying how close he feels to God the next.
Another way you could look at it is during this time of “separation”, am I or my spouse growing to be a better person to bring something good back to the marriage, or is it something selfish where I’m taking something away?
July 14, 2008 at 1:54 pm |
Excellent post! You know, it’s funny … I was just thinking about this the other day … jealousy has such negative connotations to it … and to describe God in that matter just seems ‘unnecessary’ and ‘wrong’ even. But I think you’re totally right! I don’t think God could ever be jealous ‘of us’ but rather ‘for us’ … because he so longs for just a relationship with us. And that defintely can be translated into ‘real life’ … Marriage is an amazing gift, but it’s hard … especially when both parties choose ‘other’ things ahead of the spouse … but I think it’s all about communication … just like with God … sometimes just ‘talking’ it through, and learning through it, is what makes it a ‘bonding’ experience, rather than a bad argument that never gets resolved … ah anyway, great post! Good things to ponder! God Bless! ~Emily
July 14, 2008 at 4:39 pm |
One time my husband said to me, very coldly, “You love me too much” and asked me to reduce my love for him. How is that possible? I still don’t understand that statement and he still can’t explain it. The best he can do is, “You think I’m the best guy in the world and I just can’t live up to that. It’s a lot of pressure.”
Over the past ten years since those words were spoken, I’ve learned to love and trust God the most. It has been very difficult not to love my husband too much. Sounds strange, huh?
July 16, 2008 at 5:55 pm |
My mum is a strong woman with definite views and opinions. Yet in all my life I’ve only ever heard her yell at my dad 2ce and anyone who knows him will find that strange. She has always been 100% loyal to him. She has other activities in her life – ministry, friends, us (her kids) – yet we all know without a doubt that she will drop it all if my dad asks. The only person she loves more than him is God.
“God eagerly and passionately pursues a monogamous love relationship with me”
When I read that, my mum’s relationship with my dad came to mind. I think it’s that same single minded love that God wants from us. He’s not saying we should not have other commitments and stuff…I think He just wants us at a place where it all pales into insignificance beside him.
Can’t wait for you to post the rest of this Doug. It is certainly thought provoking.