Grandma and new grandson
Today’s guest blogger is none other than my wife. She wasn’t sure what to write about so I gave her some possible questions….here’s the one she picked:
1. You were on medicine as a teenager- why? Where are you at in all that today?
Hummm, Opening up my life does not come naturally or easy for me. But I know Doug will be delighted if I’d accept his invitation to be a guest blogger. So, Doug, here goes! 
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Some of you entered adulthood having grown up in less than an ideal home. Me too. As Doug alluded to in his question, I was on medicine (antidepressant) as a teenager. I was hospitalized twice and under psychiatric care for a couple of years. It was a dark, scary time for me. I felt hopeless and helpless. I was confused.
I came from an alcoholic home. Three unwritten rules in an alcoholic home are
DON’T TALK
DON’T FEEL
DON’T TRUST
These are emotional reactions that eventually become baggage in adulthood.
(taken from a Focus On The Family Radio broadcast- Adult Children Of Alcoholics)
I also come from a family with a very high propensity towards mental illness. At the age of 18 I decided to stop the meds and counseling. My thinking was I should be able to handle this on my own….my Christian faith should carry me through. Over the course of the next twenty five years of marriage, 4 children, the good times and bad, I experienced anxiety, panic attacks and depression.
Today I am meeting with a counselor and I am taking meds again. And for me, this is a good plan of action. The meds I take at night provide restorative sleep. The meds I take in the morning enable me to keep my head above chronic depression, and anxiety. The counseling I’m in is helping me to replace the unwritten rules and to come out of emotional numbness. I am learning to identify and experience my feelings.
If you’ve come from a similar background or your parents were preoccupied with something other than their children, I would recommend this CD and book by Focus On The Family.
August 29, 2008 at 7:23 pm |
Wow, Mrs. DM, how remarkebly open and transparent you were.
It seems that you may have entered through a new door in your journey of life and communication.
As you said in your post, many of us have come from alcoholic homes.
However, I was fortunate enough to have a rather “angelic moment” at the end of my dad’s life.
I wrote about as “My Angel Story” on my blog if you care to view it.
Once again, congratulations on pressing through your discomfort zone to reveal some difficult times.
August 29, 2008 at 9:16 pm |
Thank you for trusting us with this story. I was not diagnosed depressed until my 30s and pregnant with baby #3. Looking back, I see I was depressed in childhood. My mom was depressed as well. And my dad was an alcoholic. Scary scary. While it frees my mind a little now to know that some of my past behaviors were due to mental illness, I wish I could have been helped then. Its been a painful journey to come this far. I see similar things in my oldest daughter and I fear for her psyche. Perhaps I can lead her better than my parents led me.
August 29, 2008 at 10:47 pm |
Thank you so much for sharing this part of your story here. And what a beautiful picture of you with your grandbaby! I’m glad to get to know you a little bit better through what you’ve shared here.
August 30, 2008 at 10:41 am |
Wow…..It’s great to meet you Mrs. DM. You are so beautiful. Great looking little one too. You have shared something that’s so very private. Hats off to you. I have a really hard time doing that and I’m not sure if I ever will be ready to “share it all.” I think a lot of us come from alcoholic backgrounds and some are less severe than others but they all leave scars. Hopefully most of us can conquer them or at least find a way to coexist with them.
I feel bad about the whole depression thing. When will this world see that depression is one of the worst illness’s/disease’s in the world? If you can’t “show” your pain and suffering to the world then it must all just be “in your head.” I have a nephew going through this now and he’s such a baby, only 22 and his own family members (who I will not name!!) don’t even understand it. “Pull up your boot straps” they say to him. HELLO….
I’m so happy your on the road that works best for you and thankfully you’ve come to understand just what road that is. So many times people “think” they don’t need some of these medications in some sort of a “I’m okay so I don’t need them anymore” way of thinking and then it’s down into the depths. Thank you so much for sharing this painful thing with us and I really admire you for doing so.
August 30, 2008 at 1:53 pm |
i just knew i would love you!
we have much to talk about, sister
August 30, 2008 at 2:51 pm |
Very brave post.
My take on depression is also that it is a gift- it has been for me and now I don’t necessarily identify with it- it is part of me like having brown eyes or curly hair- just a given not bad not good…but it has allowed me to MOVE in a search for peace it has led me seek myself/ my god nature and gave birth to becoming a Painter…I can’t say that there aren’t happy and fully balanced painters and artists but for me the depression was a door to profound creativity.
August 30, 2008 at 4:39 pm |
Finally! It is great to ‘meet’ you Mrs. DM. If you had a blog I’d subsribe. Thank you for sharing this; depression and I, we are long companions.
August 31, 2008 at 6:26 pm |
Great picture!! Thanks for sharing.
September 1, 2008 at 3:49 pm |
Great picture and thanks for sharing!! I can definitely relate!
September 5, 2008 at 8:35 pm |
Mrs. DM: Great reading about you and meeting you… I admire your courage in sharing this part of your life story. Alcoholism has a hold on us as its children only until we gain the skills to learn how to take effective control on our own. Your hubby can direct you to my open letters to my mom and dad related to this very topic… writing about it has been a very healing experience. Peace to you as you continue to heal….and, by the way, your hubby is totally awesome!!!!
September 12, 2008 at 9:50 am |
and when we were together we didnt get much girl time, and when we did, i monopolozing the conversation (sorry), we need more time to talk my friend.
my son loves you and thinks you are the sweetest mom ever.
he would trade me in a heartbeat.
I see other moms who can assert their ‘authority’ in such a kind, gentle and yet good way. (Godly way)
I’m yet to get there, maybe never will get there, but i envy those who can and long to be like them.
*I am learning to identify and experience my feelings. *
is a good thing and as always, Mrs. DM, back everything up with the Word and the Love of God.
xoxo, kristina
September 12, 2008 at 3:51 pm |
(Mrs DM writing here)….My thanks to EVERYONE who took the time to leave a comment. I appreciate all of your insight, hope, understanding, encouragement, validation, and empathy. I also appreciate Kristina’s challenge/reminder not to live just by my feelings but to back it up w/ Scripture. It just so happens I’ve been listening to an excellent series on tape by Joyce Meyer on emotions and the word of God.