Conflicted: Full of conflicting emotions, A psychic struggle, often unconscious, resulting from the opposition or simultaneous functioning of mutually exclusive impulses, desires, or tendencies.
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“We’ve got a form of brainwashing going on in our country.” Morrie sighed. “Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that’s what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it – and have it repeated to us – over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by this, he has no perspective on what’s really important anymore.”
From Tuesday’s With Morrie page 124
I (DM) have been gnawing on a related issue for a while now. The value placed on physically attractiveness , youth and beauty in our culture. A part of me rolls my eyes at the shallow sillyness of it all, and yet there is a small part of me that wishes I had just a little piece of that pie too.
Not the whole cake mind you, just a little slice….like a piece of cheese cake.
This thinking rears its head when I scroll through pictures of my niece on facebook. She’s in the prime of her youth, attractive, always seeming to be getting lots of attention. Lots of pictures where she and her friends are striking poses for the camera…you know the pose….
It also rears it’s head in the blog world. Young female writers will regularly get dozens of comments and I’m lucky if I get one or two 
Now don’t take this personal any of you my regular readers…I’m not trying to whine, it’s just that in the back of my mind, I wonder if I were female, and in my 20′s how many more comments might roll in.
So here’s where the conflicted feelings come into play. I love my privacy and my space. I have no desire to be the center of attention in a group. I “know” physical beauty and youthful vigor do not last. That stuff is an illusion. and yet in my heart of hearts, I still crave some of it. If I didn’t this sort of stuff wouldn’t bother me.
Brittany posted the following video clip a couple of weeks ago on face book… It bears watching at least once a month:
Like this:
Tags: attitude, Christianity, depression, enjoying life, Life, personal, self esteem, spirituality, thoughts, Uncategorized
December 24, 2011 at 7:30 pm |
I think everyone is brainwashed to a certain extent by the media. It is sad that, because of all the repetition, people have a very narrow view of the world.
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Thanks for stopping by the blog. I’ve enjoyed reading yours as well. DM
December 24, 2011 at 7:47 pm |
Thanks for sharing that video again Doug! It’s a must-see!
Yeah our culture is obsessed with youth and beauty, that’s for sure. At least we have videos like these to help us realize how the images of people we compare ourselves to in magazines or on tv aren’t all that real and can go through a lot of “fixes”. I think if they didn’t do that so much we’d all be less harsh on ourselves. But it’s about money and selling things, so that probably isn’t going to change…but awareness makes a difference!
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Brittany, thanks for your comment! On a completely unrelated note, since it is Christmas eve, does your family have any special traditions over Christmas?
January 1, 2012 at 12:25 pm |
This post makes me want to watch “Shallow Hal” again!!
))
I think people want to be valued for themselves, generally speaking, but there also is a certain little bit in each of us that wants to be told that we’re cute or handsome or beautiful or “hot.” We all want someone that we think is attractive to also find us attractive, and I don’t know where it comes from or what its purpose might be – that’s just how we are.
That’s one of the reasons I like photographs – they provide a fixed image in time of what this person or that person looked like, and I find that the more photographs I see, the more I can see that there is beauty in people, regardless of whether their faces are symmetrical or not. What’s cool is that I’m finding that when I focus on what most people look like, when I do run into those “perfect” people, they look odd to me because there are no visible imperfections!!
FYI – just in case you wonder, Princess Diana, one of the most beautiful and photographed women in the world had similar feelings about her own appearance. If you look at this one photo of her, her chin is resting on her hands, and she’s wearing a black turtleneck, so her face is the focus of the picture, you can see that one eye is slightly larger than the other, and her eyebrows aren’t quite symmetrical – as far as I’m concerned, THAT’S normal, and it’s part of what makes most people beautiful: their imperfections.
How was your trip to see family?
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I’ve not seen shallow hal…would you recommend? It wasn’t until 30 years after the fact, one of my daughters pointed out, in my earlier years (when I still had hair and didn’t wear glasses) I looked a lot like Patrick Swayze. Never in a 100 yrs did I make the connection…even my wife tells me later she had the same thought when we were dating. I supposed it could have went to my head, but I wish someone would have at least mentioned something along those lines back in the day..instead of me spending all those years secretly thinking I was an ugly duckling. Good to hear from you!
January 1, 2012 at 9:32 pm |
So sad to read of some of your self perceptions, DM, when, in reality, you are incredibly handsome! But maybe I’m not supposed to say that stuff, because you’re married to a gorgeous lady…hahahaha…and I have a pretty incredible husband. However, the truth is the truth, and the truth is, your lovely wife had herself quite a catch.
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Thanks Grace for your affirmation. I appreciate it. Words can be powerful instruments to build up (or tear down).DM
January 3, 2012 at 5:56 pm |
Oh, this is a hard issue for me. I used to hate it because I looked so young. People never took me seriously. Now I’m turning 50 and noticing wrinkles, puffy eyes… I hate to admit it, but I care way too much about my appearance. It’s so funny, my husband and I used to wonder how our son would “rebel” against us. (Our poor son didn’t have a chance growing up with two psychologists as parents). I don’t think he’s rebelling, it’s just who he really is, but he does not care about appearances. He only wears jeans, the same pair of tennis shoes, and a few tee-shirts from concerts he’s been to. He wants very little in terms of material things. As long as he has his guitar, banjo and mandolin, he’s happy. I am trying to learn from him!
That’s a great video. I’m going to go share that on my FB page!
Thanks for a thought provoking post.