…”A few years ago I had been away from home for many weeks on a long trip and had been with people constantly. I was desperate3 to get away from people for a while. So when I got on the plane I sat in an aisle seat. The middle seat was vacant and the window seat was occupied by a young woman. As we waited for the plane to take off, I retreated as deeply as possible into a book I was carrying. It was purely an anti-social maneuver. But my traveling companion wanted to talk. She asked, ” What are you reading?”
“A book,” I replied.
“What is the name of it?” she asked.
“Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz,” I said.
“Do you study psychology?”
Everything was monosyllables. By then the engines were running and we were beginning to taxi down the runway. She kept at it. I had a head cold and could hardly hear. Finally, I closed the book and moved to the vacant seat between us, and we began to converse.
I soon realized what she really had in mind was to find a companion. Going straight to the point, I said, ” I travel a lot and many times I am lonely. I often encounter temptations to be unfaithful to my wife. But I’ve decided it’s not worth it. I know I could deceive her, but the basis of our relationship is our mutual love and confidence. She trusts me, and I trust her.
I’ve lived long enough to realize that meaning in life is not found in seeing what I can get away with, or in bigger achievements, or in a position, or in how my leisure time is spent. I’ve learned that meaning is found in relationships. Consequently, I don’t intend to destroy the best relationship I have. If I came home having been unfaithful to my wife, even though she might not perceive it, and even though I could keep it from her, I’d know. She would come to me with her blind confidence and I’d have to somehow create a distance between us. We’d be pulled apart and she would never know why. Soon we would be strangers living together under the same roof.”
The ones who would pay most heavily would be my wife and children. That strikes me as the height of selfishness.”
She was dumbfounded!~
Then she began to open up. She said, “I”m twenty-four years old. I ought to be getting married, but all my married friends have affairs and if that’s the way it is, I don’t want it. When my friends go away for the weekend, their husbands are soon knocking at my door. They are like little boys. I just don’t think I could handle it if my husband were like that.”
Then she added, “I’ve never heard ideas like yours. Where do they come from?”
“You’d laugh if I told you.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” she said.
“I got them from the Bible,” I said. I went on to explain to her what the Christian message is and how it changes a person so he can get his life in order. By then we were about to land. What frustration! We were in the middle of my explanation. She was intensely interested in every word, but we had to quit.
As the passengers moved into the aisle, I let her go on ahead. When I came off a bit later and walked up the concourse, I passed her standing with a circle of about ten of her friends who had come to meet her. They were the ones she had told me about on the plane. She stopped me and made the rounds of introductions. I stood there for at least ten minutes while she related our conversation to them. …
excerpt from a book by Jim Peterson
I (DM) have been chewing on this book the past couple of days.
What does trust look like in a marriage relationship?
Who am I when no one is looking?
Priorities….What are the most important things in my life?