Comments on: Parents in pain

By: enolasurvivorl

enolasurvivorl — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 01:35:21 +0000

Ugh – remind me of this in a few years. I’m hoping you’ll be the one I can rant too! Given their stubbornness already at this age, I have a feeling I will need it.
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You guys are doing a great job laying the foundation…. You betcha…we’ll be all ears if and when you need them DM

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 02 Oct 2012 22:41:08 +0000

Sorry for the typos at the end of my comments…just wanted to say, I admire your honest wrestling with these issues…having my husband in mind, I will say one thing, though…coming, as he does, from the Gulf,where all gender relations are severely restricted, and women still suffer terribly for any and all perceived “indiscretions”, whether they are her fault or not….I’ll take your dilemma anytime, i.e. “how to raise children to behave as you’d like them to, in a FREE society”, over the alternative….it’s hard on a parent, no doubt, but it still seems preferable to living in a society where repression is the norm!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 02 Oct 2012 22:34:31 +0000

This was ‘deja vu’ again, for me…I was looking through old emails just yesterday and found one grim you on this exact topic…you sound about as upset now as you wesawre then…but you also sound like you’ve come to much more acceptance and calm (at least after you’ve had a little run of ranting to clear your head. ). And it’s not so personal….as I said to you then, I hope you are still around in 10 yrs. when my girls are teenagers…I may have to drive out there to Iowa , all the way from New York to let you talk some sense into my husband ( or maybe just so you can sympathize with HIS rants) out of your hard-won wisdom….I think there is a good chance hhe will.have 10x your anger if our kids go.the prodigal route…

By: Su

Su — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 14:39:28 +0000

With my dad as a minister I grew up in a “fishbowl” of scrutiny and I can definitely say that I was a bit of a prodigal kid during highschool. My parents way of dealing with it was to try and give me the best advice and guidance but let me make some mistakes. I still got punished (enough to make them say I couldn’t get my license or drive till I was 18!) and all but they also dealt with the “issues” that were causing me to be that prodigal kid. I’m not sure their laid back approach was the best but I have to say that my dad always said “you’ll come back home” and I did. I don’t know if that’s sheer luck or wisdom beyond his years hahah. I think I’d handle it differently but that’s me, being the product of a certain way of growing up…. O I’d handle it differently only really because I made it out of it on my own. My parents probably planned that.
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Glad you’re back on track SU! DM

By: The Farmers Taft

The Farmers Taft — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 06:12:59 +0000

I can hear your frustration, DM. What you say about it feeling personal but it isn’t, oh you hit the nail on the head. It’s between themselves and themselves only, as they try to sort out their own truth from all the outside noise. When they find their truth, and can sit in the quiet of it for a spell, then God will have a chance to corner them for a little sit-down. You just have to find ways too reconcile yourself to the fact that this isn’t your battle, and finding a friend to crab with will help you stay out of their way while they’re hunting down their demons.
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Thanks for hearing me! DM

By: emjayandthem

emjayandthem — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 10:49:47 +0000

The sound you hear is a standing ovation, DM! You will help many with this post,
MJ
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By: TrishaDM

TrishaDM — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 23:24:44 +0000

Awesome post!
I am not a parent yet, but I already worry about things like this in the future. But, you are right, God has to reel them in. Their faith has to be their faith, not their parent’s faith. The most you can do is love them and pray for them.
I have had friends who have fallen away from the faith. Interestingly, I have watched several of them already come back… On their own terms in God’s time. Sometimes even while they are making what seem to be terrible choices, they still have the foundation God made when they were children. They know, they learn and grow.
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Thanks! DM