Ibiza

   

      I’ve often said, your  first born child is like the first batch of cookies in a new oven.  You as  the  parent don’t really   know what you’re  doing  on this one.  (We both know you feel like you’re flying by the seat of your pants more often than not)

     I’m a first born, as well as the oldest grandchild on both sides of the family, which may explain a lot of things

     Dad’s mom ( Oma)  had a step sister (Aunt Sophie) who owned a vacation home on the island of Ibiza,  (little island off the coast of Spain)  She  never had any children….keep that in mind.

     I’m not sure who hatched the idea, but someone thought it would be good if all the grand children could take a trip to stay with Aunt Sophie as long as the opportunity lasted.  

        I was in  the first deployment with my cousin Carol.  The plan was for my brother to go the following year with our cousin Colleen,  they never got to go.

      Picture me,  a farm boy from Iowa with a snorkel and flippers, slowly working  my way along the shore line.  No big deal right?   Well, first of all, I can’t swim,  flunked beginner’s 3 times, quit when I was a head taller than the rest of the class.  Secondly , I was thousands of feet from the beach where I’d started, just a tiny speck by the time Carol’s mom  spotted me.  She told me later, she had visions of shipping me home in a box.  I had discovered that the Mediterranean was so salty it was next to impossible to drown.  For the first time in my life, I was  swimming!

     I’d had one year of Spanish in school, so Carol’s mother (my Aunt Ruth) assumed I was fluent in Spanish.   We stopped by a beach restaurant to grab a bite to eat.   Our waiter did not speak English.  After  pointing at the menu, he brought each of us a coke and lemon and one scrawny chicken, coved with  pin feathers   to split between the three of us.

         Aunt Ruth looked at me and said, “I thought you could speak Spanish, what in the heck did  you tell him????”

     “I don’t know, all I know how to do is count to one hundred and  tell him my name is Doug.”

     “For crying out loud…”  she said   

     Well, the two weeks went by way too fast. 

     Even though Carol and I were two of the most docile teens you could have ever found, our visit  was too much for Aunt Sophie- she said that was  last time she would host the grand children.

        In closing:

     Children are remarkable resilient.

     And second, the things that go wrong on your vacation  often   turn into  your fondest memories .

 

     So tell me, what are some of your fondest memories growing up?

Jesus and The Belly Dancer

    Last night was a first for me.   I saw my first Celtic pub band, a belly dancer, (didn’t actually see her belly )  a River dance maiden and  Lego Man, all at one place.  The highlight of my night was when  Wylde Nept    took the stage, they looked like this: 

     They even  had cocoa nuts.

     As we were sitting there about 2 hours past my bed time, a moderately drunk young woman comes over  to our table and asks if we were college professors.  (Iowa City is a college town, and I guess in her mind, we had to  be teachers if we were at this place  this time of the night.  

    I’ve talked about this before, but  some of my favorite people to hang out with are your  non churchy types- bikers, people covered with tattoos, you get the idea.

       I think it has something to do with the type of people  I work with.  I’ve discovered,  beneath their (sometimes)   tough exterior most construction workers have a soft heart.    I LOVE to get to know and discover the person behind the mask. 

       Speaking of masks,  last night happened to be an early Halloween party, which explained some of the get ups  we saw, but not all of them.

    Melissa (the friend who invited us out on the town)  mentioned we might  see some belly dancing to the Irish pub music.

      Some of you are probably thinking to yourself, now how does that work???  Well, it works better than you might think.

   Here’s your chance to try a new feature on my wordpress blog…you get to vote  :-) 

    If you do vote, feel free to leave a comment and tell me why you voted the way you did.

Generous To A Fault…Is It Possible?

       I need some Input.  Is it possible to be too generous?  Where is the happy medium?

     

      I have no trouble charging what I need to charge when it comes to my construction business.   If I’m asked to bid on a job, I work up a fair price, if I get the job I get it, if someone wants to do it for less- let them.  Simple, right?   Why is it, then that I can’t apply that same straight forward non emotional decision making process to our other business ventures?

     We have a small Bed and Breakfast business that we run out of our home now that our children have grown.   We do it as much for a tax write off, and a chance to do a little hospitality  as for generating income.  I’ve written before about opening our home to musicians who happen to be traveling through the Midwest.  When I heard one musician was looking for a gig, we wrote them  and told them while we couldn’t host another concert so soon after our last one, they were more than welcome to crash @ our place for a day or two…I would never have thought about making that offer and then say, Oh, by the way, it will cost you just $80.00 per night…you know what I mean.  Based upon some other B and B’s in our area, we could be charging another $15 to $20.00 per night…but then again, there are other ones that are not charging as much as we are…so that’s why we’ve set our rates @ what they are.

     We also have a small apple orchard (this years crop is about 30 bushels) which eventually should produce between 150- 400 bushels a year.    I see it as a hobby, I love to prune, spray, and  pick, it doesn’t feel like work for me, more of a way to unwind.  I put an add in the local paper this week- $1.00 a pound which is cheap compared to what they are charging in the grocery store for some varieties, and yet, I struggle with charging much more until we have the volume to actually have something to offer to the public. 

         In doing some historical research this past year about Lyman Dillon, it was said, he was “generous to a fault”.  He never got rich, because he was always helping out other people.  When I read about him, I thought to myself..he sounded  a lot like me… (I can tell you right now, at the rate I’m going, I too will “never be rich.”  I tend to give it away almost as fast as I can accumulate it…any suggestions?

Ubuntu

    Erin  had just finished a three week whirl wind cross country tour as a musician from New York to Seattle.   She’d stayed with us for two days a week previous.  Now she was headed back home in her car with another friend and was hoping to stop here for the night.  After 15 hours on the road, they finally pulled into our driveway after dodging, tornadoes, closed roads, and flash flooding.   I met her in the driveway in my bare feet, she gave me the biggest hug….she was safe.

        I felt like a mother hen watching anxiously for her chick.  Erin was the 5th musician who stayed with us this Summer, two of them told us how peaceful and safe our home felt.  We  own a small bed and breakfast- if it’s not for the money, why would you open your home and life to complete strangers?

    Ubuntu perhaps?

     I saw this cross stitch in an antique shop last year and had to have it.  It spoke to my heart:

  Sanity Found wrote me this week,  suggested I possessed the  qualities  embodied in the word Ubuntu, (qualities like trust, caring, respect, hospitality, and helpfulness to name just a few.   if I liked, could put the Ubuntu  logo on my blog  and write a post on it.

 

 

 

     

      Read  this post to  understand Ubuntu in it’s original context.       As I understand it,   it is not  a set of principles or rules ,  rather it is who you really are at the core of your being.   To be told that you embody Ubuntu is one of the highest affirmations anyone can say to you….WOW.

     For me, it can feel like a wave or a pressure welling up inside of me,   the spirit of God stirring me up to be his hands, his voice, his channel  to others.  If I do have what Africans call Ubuntu, then I’ve been blessed with a wife who also has it.  

    To those of you that said I might possess Ubuntu at least in some measure…thank you- it is one of the most significant things anyone has ever said to me- I’ve been savoring it  all week. 

    I’ll close with the rest of the poem:

The House by the Side of the Road
by Sam Walter Foss

There are hermit souls that live withdrawn
In the place of their self-content;
There are souls like stars, that dwell apart,
in a fellowship firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths
Where highways never ran—-
But let me live by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road,

Where the race of men go by–
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
As good and as bad as I,
I would not sit in the scorner’s seat,
Or hurl the cynic’s ban—-
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road,

By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope,
The men who are faint with the strife.
But I turn not away from their smiles nor their tears,
Both part of an infinite plan—
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead

And mountains of wearisome height;
That the road passes on through the long afternoon
And stretches away to the night.
But still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice,
And weep with the strangers that moan,
Nor live in my house by the side of the road
Like a man who dwells alone.

Let me live in my house by the side of the road—

It’s here the race of men go by.
They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,
Wise, foolish—so am I;
Then why should I sit in the scorners seat,
Or hurl the cynic’s ban?
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I Am Home

I’m home

6 days

81.8 miles

172,763 steps later.

Here are 5 photos of my last 6 days walking in the footsteps of Lyman Dillon and Old Military Road from Iowa City to Dubuque….

Sunrise North of Solon on day 2

Picture of my footsteps looking back near Langworthy

Looking back at our house as I leave for Cascade.

\

Walking in the drizzle on day 6

Mrs DM and I at the end of the road

Here are just a few highlights of the trip.

While I am on my feet all day at work, I am not a “walker”, and yet, I did not get any blisters, my feet never hurt,  only  felt  stiff at the end of day 3 as I was coming down a long hill into Anamosa.

I woke up refreshed every morning , 4 of the nights I stayed  in homes of people I didn’t (or barely) knew.

It rained 2 of the 6 days, which only added to my sense of being on an  adventure.

A couple of  you mused there  would be a spiritual component to this adventure and there definitely was.  I’ll probably write more about that later.

My next goal (after writing thank you’s) is to contact the people I met in each town and work on my book “On The Trail Of Lyman Dillon“

When I’ve mentioned writing a book,  I’ve  encountered a few  “Oh sure you are” looks.    What the nay sayers don’t know is I already have 2 books in print.  I realize I probably sound a little testy  as I write this, but I have very little time for negative, pessimistic, people.

Here’s  a quote by Theodore Roosevelt which  comes to mind when I meet a nay sayer :

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how  strong man

stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them  better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

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I know some of you were praying , thinking of me , and sending happy thoughts my way  this week while I was on the road.   Thank you thank you!!!!

Questions,  comments,   thoughts?

The Circle Of My Life

     “Some men draw a circle around their family, and they are the only ones they look out for, other men draw a larger circle, to include their friends and people in their area.  There are a few men however, whose circle is much larger, it is the world.”

                                              Paraphrase from a scene in  the movie 10,000 BC

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     I was walking through Walmart Tuesday night, caught a scene from a new release 10,000 BC. It hooked me.  I mentioned it in passing as my wife and I  headed for  the checkout.  (Just making conversation mind you)   This is one of the things I love about her.   she said spontaneously, “Then why don’t we get it?”

     We are not big movie goers, in fact, if we sit in front of the TV more than twice  a month, that would be stretching  it… for us to pick up a new release is not the norm.    So we set aside  Friday night to check it  out.  I  won’t spoil the story for you, but if you like intense action sequence, some violence, no sleaze, and great special effects, you’ll probably like the movie.)

     At one point,  a young man wrestles with his destiny.  A friend of his father   waxes philosophical about the “size of each man’s circle”, (the people he looks out for).  Ultimately each of us has  to decide on how big to draw that  circle.

 WOW    That is a profound thought  I told my wife. 

               There are  people who profess to be your   friend,  but let something happen involving  money,  a misunderstanding  or a wrong   committed and  you’ll  discover just how deep  that relationship really is .   

      I am thankful for the people  who have drawn a circle that includes me. 

        Anyway,  tell me about someone who has included you in their “circle” …the more details the better. 

Christmas Eve With Sid And Marie

     It was Christmas Eve 1986.  1000 miles from home with 3 young children.  I’ll never forget the kindness of Sid and Marie, an older couple in our church that invited us to spend the evening with them…just like we were part of their family. 

(side note : It was experiences like this that gave me a whole new appreciation for hospitality and being sensitive to opportunities to reach out)

     After supper (before we played a mean game of “spoons”), Sid asked me to follow him into the living room.  He took me over to a book case and pointed at several three ring binders.  “Do you know what those are?  You need one….probably several.” 

     I looked at him with a blank “duu” look on my face. 

      He continued:  “With your abilities and gifts, you need to be your own boss.  Not as a sole proprietor,  but as a corporation.”

      To be honest, , he could have been talking Chinese.   I didn’t understand  what he was talking about,  it all seemed so complicated and beyond me.   but a seed had been planted.

     Flash forward to a weekend workshop with Lowell Lundstrom….he said:

      There are only so many hours in the day, and if you get paid by the hour (even if it’s $150 an hour) there is a limit to what you can earn, where as if you use your mind, there is no limit to what you can earn. 

        Another seed was planted

(foot note: at the time I was making $8.00 per hour  it’s not about the money- I have a very detached attitude about $ and I’m not chasing the almighty dollar.)

     This morning I  read this post  by Sanity Found – it triggered a memory of my conversation with Sid.  As I sit here this morning, both of those conversations have born fruit in my life. 

     As I told Sanity Found this morning,  while I completely understand the importance of higher education  and  needing those various pieces of paper behind your name in order to get a job in some circles, there are other options.   (I’m not looking for comments on the pro’s and con’s of higher education..read the link above for an in depth discussion of that topic and comment there if you want)

      Some of you reading this understand corporations better than I do so feel free to jump in or correct me.   We do have a corporation- it owns an apple orchard, a bed and breakfast, has published 2 books, and overseas a construction company.   It owns a riding lawn mower that I (as the president of the corporation) use to mow the property.  The corporation has an office in the same building as our bed and breakfast. (Our home)  That means a percentage of the utilities, taxes  insurance and Internet expenses  are tax deduct able.  There’s lots more I could tell you about, but I think you get the idea. 

 ”Work smarter, not harder.”

 

    

“Cross Pollination” Of The Arts Around Our Farm Kitchen Table

     I had to say good-by To Katie and Emily this morning.    Rather than me repeat who Katie and  Emily are, take a minute to read this post from my “I also live on a farm” blog.    Pictured above (from the left) are Katie Sawicki,  my daughter Rebekah, and Emily Stanback.  We were celebrating Rebekah’s birthday last night and I’d asked Katie and Emily if they wouldn’t mind putting on a small house concert as part of the party.  They spent two days  with us recharging their batteries for the final push of a three  week of a tour to promote Katie’s newest album Time Spent Lost. 

       Here’s a link to Katie’s myspace blog to check out what we were treated to last night.  

      This morning over coffee we continued our discussion on my latest “raw” idea.   Let me back up.  When we originally came up with the idea of having a bed and breakfast at our place, I had this picture of an author  (poet, artist, musician) coming away for a time to write (paint, compose, create)  We’re situated in the rolling hills of Eastern Iowa…definitely off the beaten path.   As recently as just a couple of weeks ago, I was talking with an artist about coming here to paint.  I shared that with Katie and Emily.   They both agreed we have the perfect setting.

      “Can’t you just see  an artist here in residency and maybe an author, or songwriter  whose experiencing “writers block”   sitting around the kitchen table, bouncing ideas off each other….” a cross pollination” of  the arts“  someone  said.

     I mentioned  exploring the possibility of applying for a non-profit 501 (c) (3) status which would open up the possibility for grant money.  (I looked into it a year ago but at the time, it didn’t seem practical)   Katie suggested if there was a way to weave some teaching/instruction  with a local school that would enhance the idea.    There is a local community college here that I’m sure would be open to having  some type of working relationship with us and visiting instructors.     

     In March Lou Brown, Bob, and Aimee spent three days with us.  They are  musicians from the UK who needed a place to regroup between shows.   Lou told us that her time here was  so  nurturing and refreshing…here’s what she said:

      ”  There is something about your place I find difficult to describe, it is not only that  you are truly a special and wonderful family, it is not that it is a beautiful location, it is not that there is a deck overlooking the corn fields, there is something embedded in your place that for me instantly allows me to feel safe, at peace and relaxed.  The land on which that house stand seems to be blessed with love and security.” 

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Update 6/4/08

        I woke up this morning thinking about these things. 

     Just like our music festival has evolved over time as we’ve evaluated what we’re doing…so too these ideas will undoubtedly evolve. 

This is a biggie…… I’m not interested in the financial angle as much as encouraging a tired weary musician or someone just looking to recharge their batteries emotionally.  

     Secondly, it’s definitely  word of mouth rather than try to formally make something happen (advertise or  make sure there is aways a diversity of visitors in the mix.)   Since I do bring a spiritual component to this I have a sense of anticipation.

     Your thoughts?

Giving Or Receiving Unexpected Kindness

      Our farewell  party was winding down,  I was asked to come forward.  Gilgal Bible Chapel (80 people tops on a Sunday morning)  wanted to present us with a going away present.  We’d lived among them for 5 years.    We’d worked together, cried together, sweat together, laughed together, prayed together….God had done so many things in my life, it was like a spiritual “boot camp.”   I was given an envelope which my friend John suggested I   open  before  getting  off the stage….inside I found a check for $4000.00   (which by the way is framed and sitting on my bookshelf)

 I used to read verses from the Bible like this from the book of Acts:

     “Now  the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common…..and great grace was upon them all.  There was not a needy person among them….”  Chapter 4 vs 32-34

        and wonder why Christians today didn’t look like that.    Imagine my delight when God moved us  from Iowa to New Jersey, and  ”planted us” in just   such a church ..and now it was time to return to Iowa.

      Our family  lived in “Christian community” for 5 years.   An experience like that is bound to leave a mark on your life.  Twice during that period,  someone gave us a  vehicle  when ours needed replacing- gave it…not a loaner…a gift. We’ve had people show up at our home with boxes of groceries, had a Christian landlord who knocked several hundred dollars a month off the rent because he knew our situation.  My employer (Mark) was also an  assistant pastors at the church.   When it became obvious we were struggling financially, we met with Kurt, (a church deacon and accountant)    Kurt said  I could use a $2.00 an hour raise without  a doubt.  Mark said not a problem - plus he wanted to  find a  way to offer health insurance and  give me a work vehicle to drive…because he saw his business as an extension of his faith.     

      Giving and receiving  acts of  Kindness has become such a part of the fabric of our life, I forget what it feels like to experience it for the first time.

    Lest you think I’m just a big “mooch”   

       We also opened our home for 3 months  to an elderly lady whose own son was  going to let her wind up on the street because she’d been so ornery over the years.  I wrote more about that here  She needed a place to stay and I wanted to work on being more assertive (figured if she was with us for an extended period of time then stuff was bound to happen.

      I’m not going to give you any more stories from my life lest it sound like I’m tooting my own horn…let’s just say, I have no problem giving or receiving kindness, hospitality,  and unconditional love…it’s just part of who we are as a family.

       I’ve heard people  say, “ I have no trouble helping someone else,  but struggle  to  receive. ” To you I  say,   “It’s your pride,  If  God lays it on someones heart to help you, then  you need to let them, because you deprive them of the joy that comes from helping someone else.”

       What are some of the surprising ways people have encouraged you?  How about ideas…do you have any suggestions (big and small ways) we  can encourage someone else?  My newest blogging friend Sharon,   posted something recently on encouragement  check it out.

Iowa – The Beautiful Land

         ”When the Vikings found Iceland and decided it was so beautiful they wanted to stay.  However, they really didn’t want anyone to bother them, invade them, or join them…. so, they named it “Iceland.”  They named the landmass to the northwest of them “Greenland” simultaneously.  Iceland is green, and Greenland is nothing but ice.  They hoped people would go to Greenland first, find it to be impossible, and determine that Iceland must be a floating iceberg in comparison .”  

                                                                  from a recent e-mail

     What do Iowa and Iceland have in common?  - both are hidden treasures

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        This is a photo of Iowa  was taken by  my friend Emily.  It could have been taken in the area where we live.  I’m using the photo today with her permission.  (I’m learning Eva   ;-) )

          I can’t tell you the number of times when we lived in New Jersey I felt someone look down their nose at me when they found out I was from “Iowa.”  (They’d give me  this “duuu” look.) or ask “Do you guys have the Internet or Cable TV in Iowa?, )    (Iowa, Ohio, Idaho),  (Some of) my Eastern friends didn’t know one state  from the other.   

      The native Americans called  Iowa “The Beautiful Land” (or “Place of Peace”)

     Iowa has a reputation for being “backwards”,  behind the times in the national media…and that’s just fine with me.   I like it that way.  Keeps too many people from wanting to move here.    We live on 4 and 1/2 acres.   When we moved here in 1995 there were 2 barns, 7 out buildings and a 2 story 1800 sq ft house all for under $70,000.  Today, it would list at around $180,000.00 and I wouldn’t sell it to you if you offered me $750,000.00. (Honest)       

        At a recent Buy Fresh Buy Local Workshop, I learned that Iowa’s topsoil is some of the richest in the world- the other site is  in Russia. 

      Today’s post is my humble way of celebrating Iowa.    If I could live anywhere in the world…it would be right here.  

      What words come to mind when you think of Iowa?  If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?  Do you have any questions about Iowa you would like me to answer?  How about a “title” for that picture Emily took – does any come to mind?