No turning back

         

When  I logged onto Facebook this morning, I found myself scrolling down the friends of a friend…..people we used to attend a local church with.   

        It stirred up this feeling of being on the outside looking in….

        I felt like a little boy standing outside a store window @ Christmas time, with my nose pressed against the glass, watching  people shop.

     If you sense a hint of  bitterness toward that church  (small c) or the people in it, you would be wrong.    I’m not. 

      What I was (and still am) turned off by, is the  spiritual climate, the spiritual apathy,  served  there on a week to week basis…. 

 A.W. Tozer  puts it like this :

      “There is today no lack of Bible teachers to set forth correctly the principles of the doctrines of Christ, but too many  of these seem satisfied to teach the fundamentals of the faith year after year, strangely unaware there is in there ministry no manifest Presence, nor anything unusual in their personal lives.  They minister constantly to believers who feel within their breasts a longing  which their teaching simply does not satisfy.

      I trust I  speak in charity, but the lack in our pulpits is real.  Milton’s terrible sentence applies to our day as accurately as it did to his:  “the hungry sheep look up and are not fed.”  It is a solemn thing, and no small scandal in the  Kingdom, to see God’s children starving while actually seated at the Father’s table….” 

     It all started in 1998 my wife asked me a  few harmless questions (or so I thought)…

     “Where have you felt the most  refreshed spiritually?

     ”Think of the times when you  were most encouraged spiritually?  “

       I remember saying things like…

“At that  lay ministry  weekend retreat back in 1981.”

 ”Not always but on occasion in a small group get together.”

“That “body life service “we used to attend in New Jersey @ Gilgal.”

“Sometimes  AFTER  church when we are hanging around catching up with Leslie, or Lance, or Thomas…..” 

  Then we  tried to identify what was it about those times that made them stand out?

 Having a  genuine sense of connectedness both to people and to God.

 Masks were down.

 people  really listening to where each other was at.

 God’s word was talked about as it practically applied in our current situation.

  Then she asked: “How can we get more of that  in our lives?”

      and the rest is history

At  this point, we are part of a  small house church. 

As much as I miss those people we used to attend church (small c) with, I would never go back.

      I have no idea who might @ some point read this…but just so you know….

      I’ve spent years…literally years  in three  different local churches thinking we  could/ should  ”reform” them  from the inside out.   

      Finally came to the realization  that the pastor and leadership in a  local church casts a long, long shadow spiritually. 

        I only have one life to live…  Do I spend it settling for second best just so I have lots of friends or is there a point where I  ”take the road less traveled”?

     If   you get a chance, pick up a copy of John Fischer’s Dark Horse.

Real Masculinity (According to me)

     “The hands of a brick layer, the heart of a poet.”  

                           Saumel J Kirkwood/ Former Governor of Iowa

     I’m probably going to step on a few toes with this one, but you know what,  I’m not going to lose any sleep over it

     I’ve been given the  privilege this Fall of teaching  8 young men in a construction program.   I am 30 plus years removed from my High school days- a season in my life I would not want to repeat. 

    Since completing High School,  I’ve spent   30 years together with the same woman- (and we still like each other), We’ve raised 4 children now in their early to late 20′s- ( and  have  a healthy  relationship with each of them).     

       In addition to  teaching , I’m a general contractor.

       I am a people person, and have known and worked alongside literally dozens of men (and women) in the construction industry with every personality type you could imagine.- I n all these years, there is only 1 man who  hated my guts-  a  former bible college graduate twerp with a mouth.

       I love pouring cement, stick framing a roof, riding motorcycles, writing poetry, baking my grandma’s rye bread from scratch, shooting  a  semi automatic rifle,  working in our  apple orchard, stacking bales in the haymow, butchering chickens,  bringing my wife and I coffee in bed

     What am I trying to say? My feet are firmly planted in real life.

      When I was a young man ( like the guys in my class)- there were very few healthy role models- at least role models of what I would consider a masculine male-             Most of the “masculine” males  were either stoic males without emotion, or jocks whose sole purpose in life was to “get some”…great qualities to have in a future husband don’t you think?

      I  am here to tell you, a real man can be tough and know how to stand his ground, but he can also be tender, and know how to admit when he’s wrong.         Real men  are in touch with their feelings- regardless of what anybody else may be telling you. 

    One of my best friends  from New Jersey  would probably be  thought of as stoic by   the rest of the people in his life….and yet, I’ve gotten to know the man behind the mask- I know things about him his wife probably  doesn’t know-  he can be  funny and  fun loving as anyone , he cares, hurts, worries,  just like you and I- but I’m guessing you (and his wife ) will  never see this side of him  unless you established a level of trust with him.

     I love working with the biker/just got out of jail types.  I love to look them in the eye and mess with their minds.  Three years ago,I spent the day with Johnny- he was helping out a friend of mine remodel a building.  Johnny was on work release- muscular, in his mid 30′s- I came with my sawzall, and  chop saw with a diamond blade.  My job was to cut a hole through the side of the masonry building 2 stories in the air.  I  looked Johnny in the eye and said,   ‘”I’m afraid of heights”  (because I am)  

     He looked @ me and said with a little sarcasm, “Man, what kind of carpenter are you,  afraid of height?”

     About 1/3 of the way into the process, there was an accident- Johnny, accidently stabbed me with my sawzall- new blade, with pigeon dung on it- slid right into my forearm like a steak knife-  we made a trip to the emergency room..2 hours later, we were back- my arm all stitched and wrapped up.  I couldn’t leave because we had to finish the project- I had the tools and know how…I watched Johnny as he struggled with the chop saw- it was driving me nuts..finally, I said, “Let me have it”-  I grabbed the saw with both hands and went back to work- two hours later, we were done-  Johnny, looked @ me when I finished with the saw  and said, “Man, you are one bad @#s .”

     Music to my ears. 

     Thoughts, comments, questions?

 

I’m back!

“Doug, I was wondering if you would be willing to come with me on a short terms  missions trip with our high school youth group this Summer….”

                                    My sister Karen

     That’s how the whole thing started.

    Last year, Karen and our sister Kim went to Mexico on a short term medical missions trip.    They had a great time as siblings-  came home with lots of memories.  So that was in the back of my mind when Karen asked me about  tagging along this summer. 

     In 2008 Cedar Rapids Iowa was hit with a record breaking flood, left thousands of people homeless.  A year later  its old news, but  many are still living in FEMA trailers so Karen’s youth group decided to work closer to home so I said “Sign me up.”

      We reported for duty first thing Monday morning at the crisis management center, had a brief orientation and headed across town to meet our project manager Mike.  Our job for the week was to hang drywall.  

     I had several highlights.  Probably the biggest highlight was the good attitudes these  young people evidenced.   They had fun but knew  how to work- we kicked butt, once we got the hang of it.

      On one occassion we had to lift a 12 ft  by 4 ft piece of drywall over plumbing pipes,  another stack of drywall, then slip it into a tight corner.  Three young ladies, a young man, and myself grabbed it like it was a feather-  it slipped  in perfectly.  I told them  afterwards I felt like I was on an Amish barn raising crew- what a sweet feeling.

     Below are some pictures of our week:

Picture of our group on the last day- Karen and her hubby got it all new t-shirts to celebrate our week

Close up of some of the ladies

Karen is to my right w/ a screw gun.  My niece Emilee is in front of us.

Couple of the kids using a sheet rock jack

Having fun @ the DQ after day 3

    

Niece Hannah with a screw gun

Here is Mac- one of my team members

Picture of me inspecting something

Visiting with the neighbor

     Things have been busy the past 3 weeks between a family reunion,  another concert,  guests from California, and this missions trip.  It doesn’t look like it’s going to let up any time soon.   I start my new part time teaching gig in just a couple of weeks- a construction  program  for Jrs and Sr high school students.  I wanted to post something on the blog in case I have any regular readers who stop by from time to time.

     Nothing too deep on this post- mostly wanted to stay in touch.

My Spiritual Hunger

 

 

      “In this hour of all but universal darkness…there are found increasing numbers of persons….who are marked by a growing hunger after God himself.    They are eager for spiritual realities and will not be put off with words, nor will they be content with correct  “interpretations” of truth.  They are athirst for God, and they will not be satisfied till they have drunk deep.”

                                                A.W. Tozer  1948

______________________________________________

     I (DM) am not a religious person.

     Truth be told, religion makes me nervous.

      If something works for you, great- just don’t try to jam it down my throat.  I’ll sit politely for a little bit, but if you start pushing   I’ll tell you what I’m really thinking and you won’t do it again.

     Having said that, I am  a spiritual person.  I hunger to connect with God.  There is a difference.

      Even before I became a Christian, I remember feeling driven to connect with the spiritual.    In my senior year of high school, a class mate suggested I read a book by Carlos Castaneda where he describes being mentored by a Yaqui  Shaman, smoking peyote and seeing things through the eyes of a bird.   I longed for that type of encounter with the spiritual world.  Laugh all you want, but at the time, I had no reference point.  It just reveals the intensity of my hunger. 

       I want to say this as nicely as I can, but there are absolute truths in the spiritual realm, we disregard them at our own peril.

      I remember sitting down with pastor Tom- a cool, articulate, knowledgeable spiritual mentor of a certain religious denomination.  I had been reading some things from the church hierarchy and it didn’t square with some of the other things, I’d been told.

      I wrote down my questions, Tom and I went down the list,one by one.  He told me (off the record) he agreed with me, but in his mind,  they were fringe issues.  I’m thinking to myself, they were not “fringe” issues.  It’s one way or the other, but two opposite things can not both be true- regardless of how much politically correct nonsense you’ve bought into.

      Years ago now, I decided one of my litmus tests for evaluating a “spiritual authority” was to look for fruit in their life.

     Why?  Because if I listen to them, I will turn out like them if they are following their own information- and if they are not doing what they are telling others to do- then that’s even more reason to avoid them.  JMHO

      Did they evidence peace, joy, kindness?  If they were married, what was their marriage like?  If they had children, what were they like?  Because before you start telling me how to live my life, you’d better make sure it works in your own.   If you’re a mean ass (pardon my french)  with your wife and kids, then you have no business mentoring anybody.

      If you’re driven, grossly overweight, don’t laugh, and don’t have any friends, then what in the world are you doing standing there in the place of a “spiritual authority?”

      “Others before me have gone much farther into these mysteries than I have done, but if my fire is not large, it is yet real, and there may be those who can light their candle at its flame.”

                                                                       A.W. Tozer

               (From the intro to his book, The Pursuit Of God)

Read This Before You Go To Work Today :-)

     Victor Frankl, a Viennese Jew, was interned by the Germans for more than three years.  He was moved from one concentration camp to another, even spending several months at Auschwitz.  Later he wrote these words:

     “The experiences of camp life show that man does have a choice of action.  There were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy could be overcome, irritability suppressed.  Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, in independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical distress.

     We who lived in concentration camps can remember men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread.  They may  have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing:  the last of human freedoms- to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

     Taken from the book: The tale of the tardy oxcart by Charles Swindoll

__________________________________________________________

     I spent most of yesterday returning extra lumber to the  South West Menards store in  Cedar Rapids.   The details of the job  changed after we started it so I ended up returning close to $1000.00 worth of material.    As I pulled through the security gate and into the lumber shed for the second time I saw (and heard) one of the men grumble “WTF” so I could hear him. 

     I looked at him and said, “You know what this is?  referring to the  ( 56)  2 by 6′s 16 foot long strapped to the top of my Toyota… ”Job security“ - he didn’t say anything-  I thought to myself….this will be the 4th time I get  to handle this lumber, and he’s got a bad attitude about unloading it just this once.  so  I said to him, “You  don’t have to unload this if you don’t want to, I can do it.“   Still no response. 

     I was struck again  by how much our choice of attitudes affect the day to day details of our lives. 

 

      Using just the job I just finished as an example…

    Twice we had to carry those same boards (and couple of hundred more) across ground that was a sheet of   ice.  We  worked  several days when the temperature was  0 to 10 degrees.  Twice I drove a 90 mile round trip to the job site only to find out, the lift I was promised was not available. so we went home.   I purchased reinforced plastic sheeting that was supposed to be 20 ft wide- when we opened it up, it was only 18- the store refused to take it back..so I got to ”absorb” a  $145.00 roll of plastic.   We didn’t have electricity on the job, so we got to listen to the generator all day every day….that is on the days it would start….it was so cold early on, it wouldn’t start until I hauled it  to a temporary enclosure and blew heat on it…all the while I had (3 men on the clock @ $15.00 per hour doing nothing.) 

      I could keep going but I think you get my point- In my chosen profession- Construction, you better get used to things not always going as planned…or it will drive you crazy..and you’ll come across like the grump I encountered yesterday.

       Now I’m no Victor Frankl, and  dealing with inconveniences and problems on a construction site are nothing compared to 3 years in a Nazi concentration camp – but  Frankl touches on a transferable concept  that I was challenged by 25 years ago -   I    have the ability much more than I care to admit  sometimes  to control  my   attitude and response to people  and life in general.

   Footnote:  If you’ve read my “stuff” for any length of time you KNOW  how much I hate “trite platitude”

       If you need an attitude adjustment. (stink’n think’n) , John Maxwell or Charles Swindol both have some excellent practical stuff  you might want to check out. 

Thoughts comments questions?

Carpe Diem Parenting

    

 For as long as I can remember, I had dreamed of becoming a parent.  I pictured myself as a wise and gracious mom, full of laughter and fun.  Then my husband and I had our first child.

     Within a few weeks, all those ideals were traded in for just surviving the day.  In the following months and years, as I cleaned spit up, disarmed toddlers and corralled toys, I saw myself turn into a frazzled, reactive mom- a stark contrast to the mom I had wanted to be.

     I told myself that as soon as life settled down, I would work on becoming that other mom.  But I began to realize that I was allowing the days and years of my children’s lives to slip through my fingers.  Life was never going to settle down, and I couldn’t continue waiting.  I had to seize the opportunities in each day and be the patient I wanted to be- now.

     DEFINING THE VISION

     Ironically, my first step to carpe diem parenting involved reflection, not action.  I realized I couldn’t clearly describe the actions I hoped would define my parenting.  How could I achieve my parenting goals if I didn’t clarify what they were?

     So I thought about what I wanted my children to remember most about their childhood.  Then I examined those ideas to eliminate the unrealistic ones and to refine the rest in light of God’s priorities.

     One of the things I identified was being intentional about my children’s spiritual development.  I also wanted to be gentler in my communication with them.  Sometimes I acted like a drill sergeant in order to get things done, and I didn’t like that.  I wanted to have more fun with my kids, rather than being so focused on their development that I forgot to enjoy them.

     GOTTA  HAVE  A  PLAN

     Identifying my parenting aspirations made me approach each day differently, but I knew that wasn’t enough to keep me going against the daily onslaught.  I needed a plan, and I needed to set it in motion.

      What family traditions should I start?  How could I build more fun and laughter into the day? What discipline techniques did I need to put in place so I wouldn’t resort to yelling?  How could I orchestrate one on one time with the kids?  Where could family devotions fit in?  I needed to figure out these details.

     REGROUPING

     But even the best-laid plans go amiss.  It was easy to run out of energy and lose track of the vision.  To keep going for the long haul, I needed to find some creative ways to nurture my parenting dreams.  I posted notes in strategic places with  quotes that exemplified the character traits I was working on.  I also discussed my parenting goals with close friends and asked them to hold me accountable.  And I scheduled some regular times to pray and redefine my parenting.  A parenting devotional book gave me daily inspiration.

     CARPE DIEM

     No matter how old your kids are, it is never too late to seize the day.  Recently, my mom called to say she had a plan for how we could get together for a mother-daughter day every few months, despite the distance between our homes.  She said that she had allowed her life to get too busy, and she wasn’t getting the time she wanted to continue building our relationship.

     I was elated because I had wanted to see my mom more often but knew she was busy with a demanding, people-oriented career.  The mother-daughter day represented a significant and intentional sacrifice of her time.  And  I could see that, no matter how old she was she continued to work at being the mom she wanted to be.

      That’s what I want to do too-  starting today, and the next and the next….

  Written by Teresa Turner Vining in the April 2008 Focus on the Family magazine

I posted this one for those of you regulars that are in the parenting season of your life..but as the author of this article mentioned,its really never too late to be more intentional about our relationships. 

Thoughts, comments, or questions?    DM

Youyou’s and Highlights

    

 

In our home my wife and I  will occasionally ask each other these questions:

#1  What was  the highlight of  your day and why?

#2  What was  the low-light of your day?   Why?

#3  What are three things you appreciate me today?

     Most of us have done “meme’s.   They are opportunities to talk about ourselves (me-me) ….well I decided to call this activity a “youyou”, where  I will tell you something I appreciate about you. 

     Here’s how it works.   It’s a two step activity. First,  you  the reader need to tell  the highlight(s) of your past year and why.

     Then I would like to share with you something I appreciate about you.

        If you decide to  do  this “Youyou” on your blog, use the bouquet of roses as a symbol.    The flowers symbolize  the power of gracious words to  encourage, it’s like you’re giving someone a bouquet of flowers.

  If you’re good with graphics, maybe you could embed the words “youyou” on it?  I don’t know how to do that sort of thing or I would.  Remember, if  ”youyou’s catch on, you were in on the ground floor.

     One more thing before I share three of my highlights, if you leave a comment,  I will put my Youyou   directly into your comment box …so make sure you reread your comment the next  day or so.

    Three of my highlights from 2008:

      This was a hard one- this was a full year with lots of memories.    

          One highlight was  becoming a grandpa for the second time,  thanks to the efforts of my daughter Angie and her hubby Matt.

    Why?  Well, because I’m   seeing  my daughter mature  into a beautiful young wife and mother. 

    A second highlight was  the visit of two bloggers to our home.  Both of them came with family members and both were able to stay for 3 or 4 days.  Why?  Well, I said it before, but both of these people have been reading my “stuff” now for over a year- the good and the not so pretty and still they wanted to come and meet me (us) .  I felt unconditional acceptance on a whole new level.

      A third  highlight was my opportunity to plan for and accomplish my 84 mile walk retracing the first road in Iowa in September.

     Why?    This was a goal I had been working on for over a year, and as it says in Proverbs…”a desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul.”  It was satisfying to see details fall into place.

     Thoughts, comments, questions?

Energy Suckers, Boring Sermons and second guessing Myself

   

  We had an invite on the answering machine yesterday for a New Years Day party- last minute with the instructions to call either way.   I told the wife to suit herself, but I for one was not going to call.  

         A still small voice whispered  “There must be something wrong with  you ..that isn’t a very loving attitude”.

     Maybe it had something to do with the fact that any time we have been  with this couple, she  sucked me bone dry emotionally.   There was a  bottomless pit of need in that woman’s heart,  reminded me of a sink hole, she talked the whole time- had no interest in our lives. …

       Years ago we attended a church where I struggled during the sermon to  listen- I tried, I really tried….this went on for 5 years.

       Same small voice… ” Maybe you have  a hard heart,  You need to  see past the messenger to the message.    There must be something wrong with you  if  you  feel  bored.”

       I’m a very patient person with a  soft heart and a high tolerance for quirky people and situations.

        I’ve also lived long enough now to not automatically discount my own perspective on a situation. 

        Have you ever read the  children story the Emperors New Clothes by Hans Christian Anderson

         If you have  2 minutes, you can  read it here

         I’m related to the little boy.  

         At some point, if you are a chronic energy sucker with no intention of changing, then I’ll probably keep my distance.

         If you’re a pastor  who is burnt out and refuses to change- then don’t be surprised if at some point  I move on.

     How do you decide when you have a bad attitude(s) or valid concerns?

When You Loose a Child…

     Note to reader:  

        In 2003 I began the practice of using a  3 ring binder  to save the highlights of that year-photos, good articles, personal correspondence, etc.   I was thumbing through my 2004 journal this past Sunday night and came across   the following  piece by Carole J Dyck R.N .   She writes to parents who are dealing with the loss of a child, although I think what she  says could  apply to other times of grief as well.    Wanted to pass it on as a future resource.  DM

_________________________________________________________

       The use of the word “closure” is often heard in public circles or in the media especially after a tragedy and implies finality.  The word comes with the sense that there will be a time, day, or event like a funeral that marks when a grieving person will be “healed” or “over it”, as though it were a disease and you could magically take a pill to be cured.  There is an expectation that when the eulogies are said and the casseroles are gone, the grief somehow magically goes away.  The truth is that…the death of a loved one changes our lives forever, and we will never truly “be over it.”  Yes, we will not have the intensity of the pain and sorrow we had at the beginning of our grief.  We will go on with life and find new normal for us, but live will never be as it was before the death, and we will never be fully “healed.”  Sometimes those around us have attempted to comfort us by pointing to deadlines, replacements, or “at leasts.”  We have heard it said,”At least you have other kids,” or “You can have another baby,” or “hasn’t it been 6 months?”  Many see “comfort giving” as a short-term support effort, and soon we will be “over it” as we are kept busy returning to the tasks of daily living and focusing on our blessings.  These comments hurt rather than provide the comfort they are meant to provide.  Grief follows no plan, stages, timetable formula, or schedule.  There are no road maps; there are no absolutes.

      We learn….that everyone grieves differently.  Grief is like being lost.  The familiar things we relied on to live each day are gone.  We must find new anchors or stabilisers along the way and learn a new way of relating to the world and people around us….Grief is all consuming, distorts reality, and we begin to mark our time in “before or after our loved one died.”  No one can hurry the process of grief, no one can do it for us.  Not even our spouses, parents or other children can help us in those early days.  The truth is that when our grief is new, we feel exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  We barely have enough energy to breath.  We feel as though we have no control over our lives anymore, nor do we care.  We realise on some level we are helpless.

      All of these feelings are normal and part of the grieving process.  And yes, we also need to realise that it is a process- a very long gradual and difficult process.  Time does not heal all wounds, but time softens the intensity of the grief.  What helps is finding those who will listen with their hearts and give us hope and understanding.  Those who will spend hours, days and months with us as we tell our story over and over so we can somehow believe it ourselves.  What helps is to surround ourselves with those patient people and meaningful activities that comfort and support.

      Gradually, the cold darkness of grief beings to give way to the warmth of the memories, acceptance, purpose and reinvestment in life.  We learn to speak of our loved one without crying and begin to accept that whatever time we had with him or her, we would have taken even if just but a moment.  We learn that grief is the price we pay for loving our child or sibling so much, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.  Our relationships with family, friends and yes, even God can be strengthened or challenged as we look for new ways to connect with them.  We may lose old friends who really don’t understand.  We learn that problems life are not overwhelming.  We are handling the worst thing that can happen to us, what else can happen?  We learn to more deeply cherish those we love.  We help others in grief without batting an eye.  Sometimes we pickup “gifts” along the way by becoming more caring, compassionate toward others, and appreciative for what is important in life.  New strengths can develop as we find our new selves along the way.  Life will be different as we learn to cope, but still have meaning.

     For those of you who are new in your loss, we hope that you will continue to share your sorrow with us and learn from those further ahead on the path of grief.  Someday it won’t hurt as much as it does now, and you won’t always feel “this elephant on your chest.”  We encourage you to ask the family and friends around you for what you need and tell them when their expectations for you are too high.  We hope you will explain to them that your grief is not on a timetable and will probably not ever reach what society calls “closure.”  Explain to them that you will always miss your loved one, but you will learn to live with a broken heart.  We hope you will inform them that the mention of your loved ones name is music to your ears and it’s okay to talk about him or her.

                   Written by Carole J Dyck R.N.

      Thoughts, comments, questions?

Writing Your Own “Bucket List”

      At the end of your life, as you’re laying on your death bed, I’m guessing you’re not going to say to yourself…”Boy, I wish I would have put in more hours at my job”

     I’ve signed up to teach a 4 week course at our local community college I’m calling Creating Your own Personal “Bucket List”   a spin off of the movie by the same name.   Do you know what’s funny- before the movie came out, I had  been working off of a personal bucket list for at least 10 years- didn’t call it that, but that’s what it was…so when I saw the movie, I thought to myself…hey/ those guys stole my  idea. 

     Here’s the course description:

     Treat yourself to four weeks of fun, laughter, and personal reflection.  The Bucket List is a list of things you might want to do before you “Kick the bucket.”  Local Author and teacher DM will act as a facilitator using various activities to help you begin your own bucket list.  Class size limited.  Begins Feb.3 4 weeks  6:00 PM- 7:30 PM     $35.00

 

     Here are some tidbits from my class notes  since chances are, you won’t be able to make it:

    As the facilitator of this class, I will have succeeded  if : 

A.  By the end of the week 4   you to have a list  of at least 10 items on it.

    We will discuss :

     What is leisure?

     What does “relaxing” look like to you?

     What’s the difference between  leisure, relaxing  and hedonism?

I have 4 or 5 handouts,  3 guest  speakers in  mind (besides myself) , an excellent book  to recommend and a movie to watch. 

 In the early 1980’s I read a book by Tim Hansel called  When I Relax I Feel Guilty.    It had more of an impact on my life than I realized at the time….here are two excerpts from the book:

     “ If I had my life to live over again, I’d try to make more mistakes next time: I would relax, I would limber up, I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I know of very few things I would take seriously. I would take more trips, I would be crazier… I would eat more ice cream and less beans; I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones. You see I’m one of those people who lives life prophylactically and sensibly hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them…”

     “Do something unusual. Be an experimenter. Meet new people, try new experiences. Let people think you’re loony. Wear a funny hat or put your shirt on backwards for a day…’ Hug a tree, fly a kite, wear a button, jog in triangles. Go for a long walk in your bare feet. Poke some holes in your rigidity. This is not a time to be timid. Take a chance, it’s worth it.”

    Thoughs, questions, comments?