Archive for the ‘ministry’ Category

Why You Don’t Want To Imitate Jesus

December 22, 2008

Disclaimer- This  is an “in house” memo.   If you’re not a believer, you’re probably better off not reading this one.  DM



Photos from my journal 1988


    I can still remember when it happened.  We were living @ 1561 Green Wood Lake Turnpike, about 5 minutes East of West Milford New Jersey.  I was miserable. (see photo above)   We were broke, 1000 miles from family pursueing schooling so I could be a marriage and family counselor, 4 kids, living check to check, way too busy with “church” activities.and I read this Scripture:

    “Out of his heart shall flow rivers of living water.”  It was talking about what is supposed to happen in the lives of a believer.  Literally, God himself should be flowing out of my life like a river.  What would that look like?   Well, I thought, rivers of joy, peace, love, compassion, confidence,  The qualities I imagined Jesus would have evidenced.

     I read that and thought to myself, “Now that is a joke.”  at best, there is tiny trickle maybebut a river…Nada

     It was at that point I said to God,   “It says there are supposed to be rivers of living water flowing from my life and I barely see a trickle.I give up.”  Show me what that looks like.”

     I dropped out of all my “church” responsibilities, decided I was going to focus on being a better dad and husband…I knew it might tick off some of those in leadership, but frankly I didn’t care.  When you’re a people pleaser and you finally say enough is enough- what a rush.

     Over  the next several weeks, something  started happening.  I remember having this mirthful grin.  I felt like I was in on a secret- just between God and I.  My friend John Reilly commented to me weeks later…”Doug, there’s something different about you, I  not sure what it is.  “  

      I  did

       I went from trying to imitate Jesus to experiencing him live through me.  I kid you not…there is a night and day difference between me trying to  “imitate” Jesus and him living through me.    I know that might sound a little abstract and mystical.  I can’t help it.  I would be willing to bet, I’m not the first person who has made the same mistake. 

      That would have been in the Fall of 1989.  When I’m doing well spiritually I feel like Michael Jordan on the basketball court in his prime.  It just flows.  When I’m not, I can also feel it.  That sense of connection with God lasted for months, long enough for me to recognize when it’s not there now.  It’s not a one time thing.  It really is a day by day thing for me. 

     I know that  if  I cop an attitude with my wife,   it directly affects that connections. 

     It really has nothing to do with going to some building on Sunday.  If you are spiritually healthy, then you will long to connect with your spiritual siblings, somewhere.  It has nothing to do with giving a certain percentage of your money somewhere…if you’re spiritually healthy, you want to help others.  It has nothing to do with saying certain “prayers” at certain times.    Your conversation with the divine  will have an ebb and flow to it, just like you have with anyone you care for.   Its not something you have to legislate. 

Thoughts, comments, questions?

Good Grief, That was 13 years ago

December 15, 2008



          I came across  the  picture Sunday night.  Facebook mentioned one of my friends had been tagged in a photo.

          Some of you talk about “triggers,” well, this photo  triggered something.  It  triggered  a heaviness  that was  almost palatable.

      Today at work,  that photo  and the accompanying  heaviness  came back to my mind several times.

     I didn’t understand.     I didn’t even know 1/2 of the people in the photo,  the ones I did  were  smiling.

       and then it hit me….

     I was  grieving


      The picture triggered a wave of  grief that is 13 years old.   

     I didn’t think grief was supposed to last   that long.

           A good friend of mine is  still grieving the loss of a child, 4 years later.   He recently compared his   grief to  waves on the ocean.  
     Initially the waves  were strong, one after another… Four years later, they’re  further apart.


      Have you experienced grief in your life?  As I’ve alluded to, grief can come into our lives for lots of different reasons.

     If  you have experienced grief  and feel comfortable, would you tell me about it?  I suspect this post will generate a lot of hits long term.   What sort of comfort, insight, hope, wisdom would you give the person who stumbles across this later.  Please don’t give any pat  answers on this one.  I’m not interested in  theory.  Speak only of what you’ve experienced first hand.  Thank you in advance. DM

The List

November 22, 2008

    ” I am learning …I can’t make anyone love me. Either they do or they don’t”

     That sentence jumped off an e-mail to me three weeks ago and I have continued to mull over its implications.

     I decided to write down names of people who I perceive   like  and accept me for who I am.  I came up with 16 names. 

      (I’m related to nine , including Mrs DM, my three daughters and one son.- I’m a rich man and I know it)

      Then I wrote down the names of people  where I once sensed this, but the relationship have grown dormant.   (There were  3)

     That was 3 weeks ago….

         Jim  was telling us last Sunday in our house church , there was this plant in his  living room with heart shaped leaves that  had started to flourish after sitting  dormant for years as a result of a little TLC on his part.  

 “That sounds like a  “bachelor’s plant”  I told him with a smirk.

A  philodendron

    When I was a batchlor I had a couple of these-they were  very forgiving.  A philodendron  will put up with a lot of neglect before it dies.  But if  you do take the time to nurture it, the philodendron  will reward you by throwing out new runners and leaves in short order.  

       So like my friend Jim with his “bachelor’s plant,”  I decided to begin to  intentionally water these 19 relationships on a more regular basis, (rather than continue the hit and miss approach I’ve been getting by with for years)  Think about it…here are 19 people I already have some depth of significant relationship with..doesn’t it make sense to invest more of  my relational energy there? 

      Sure does    :-)  

     So I decided to

      – Go  out for breakfast with one man.

      – Went “road tripp’n” with a second.

    road trip:  Head for parts unknown w/ full tank of gas, large thermos of coffee with the intention of getting lost to shoot the bull.

      – Stopped by my mom and dad’s  just to visit, (they’re both on the list),

      – Picked up the phone and called one of the ushers in our wedding I hadn’t talked to since ????

      –  Attended a school musical of a friend’s daughter…something I would have never done had I not put him on “the list”  a few days before.

       One last thought…  I’m a blogger and if you haven’t already picked up, deeply relational.   I got an e-mail last week from Lori   encouraging me to embrace this relational bent in my life, rather than to always  second guessing it.     (Thank you Lori…I was listening)   

      I’ve been sharing my heart  for 22 months via this blog.    This past year we got to meet 2 fellow bloggers in the flesh.    To have someone read my stuff on a regular basis  and still want to meet me…talk about unconditional acceptance.  Probably needless to say but  they both made “The list.”

      Imagine hosting a party with all the people from “Your  list” there at the same time.  

       (besides your funeral) 

     How do you measure the depth of your relationships?

     Thoughts, comments, questions?

Pictorial Highlights Of Our Fall

November 9, 2008

     I have sensed a cut back in my blogging activity since mid August, both in the amount of time I have to write and the time I have to post comments on other blogs, in large measure due to my work situation.

    To  make it up to you, if you’re a regular reader,   I thought it would be fun to share some of our pictorial highlights of this past Fall.



     Here’s a picture of Kristina The Home Engineer ( fellow blogger) and her son Jesse meeting Winston our pig for the first time.



    This is Jesse getting some tips on how to drive our 6 foot John Deere Diesel mower



Kristina, Rodney (my neighbor) and I auctioneering off some knitted items during Applejam



This is a picture of myself, Wendy Jans and my wife @ Applejam 2008



   This is me doing a live TV appearance after my “walkabout” this Fall.  (My mind went blank during the live interview…I mean completely blank )  :-)



    This is a picture of Elaine West (age 98) and myself the day we did an oral history taping



Harvesting apples




Jesse and myself making some fresh apple cider for Applejam



   For our daugher’s birthday she rented a charcoal hog roaster.  This was a first for me.  This is a picture of me firing it up


    Picture of my friend Larry and I right before we put these kayaks into the river for the first time



Larry and I just shoving off  

I’ll close with this truth  Shalene shared with me recently :


“I’m learning …

I can’t make anyone love me.

Either they do, or they don’t.”



I want to thank those of you that do


take  the time to stay


 involved in my life. 


I don’t take you for granted.  DM


Wild Chicks

November 7, 2008


    These are newly hatched baby pheasants.   

    During plowing season when I grew up, we would sometimes run into pheasant nests.  If the hen was there and took off, we’d stop to retrieve the eggs.  After plowing, we usually tried to rebuild the nest, but never knew if that worked or not.

     One year we put the eggs under a chicken.  Chicken chicks stay with the hen until they are quite grown, while she protects and shields them under her wings.  Pheasant chicks only stay about an hour before they take off like the wild wind.

     The poor hen nearly had a nervous breakdown- running in all directions, trying to gather the wayward chicks.


     I read that story in the latest addition of Country   It made me chuckle.    I thought to myself, there  has got to be a lesson in that story.  then it hit me-no wonder I am tired…God gave us 4 pheasant chicks to  raise   and since our youngest only moved out this past August, I’ve just spent the past  28 years chasing pheasant chicks.  If you have a strong willed child,  then you know what I’m talking about- if all of your kids are of the compliant variety- don’t be too quick to pat yourself on the back-  the fact that they are behaving has less to do with your parenting skills than you might think, and if yours are still running in the opposite direction than what you’d hoped, you’re not alone.

         I was listening to Family Life Today last week-  speaker said some things  that choked me up:

       “If I knew my kids would turn out in the end, then I’m ready to die and go home and be with the Lord.”   There really is nothing more important in life  that seeing your kids thrive spiritually,and nothing as heart breaking as watching them flounder.

      “Why is it that two children can grow up in the same home, in exactly the same environment,  one will turn out great and the other one will continually grieve your heart? ”

    Too many times thought, we as parents find ourselves going on a  guilt trip- “if only, I’d spent more time with them, or if only we hadn’t  done this or that.”

     “What do you tell the parent who has one (or several) prodigal children?”

     “All you have to do is look at God the Father- he IS the perfect parent, and look at all of the prodigals he has.”

       So here’s to all you young mothers and fathers who find yourselves taking care of a little pheasants.

You’re Beautiful, You Know That Don’t You?

November 3, 2008


(Picture of my eldest @ a recent concert)

       Any one ever tell you you’re beautiful, (handsome, smart, gifted…you can fill in the blank)  and inside you’re thinking to yourself…”yea, right, I am NOT “beautiful”  my ears are too big, (or too small) ,my lips are too big (or  too small)  my nose is too big, or (too  small, )  my butt is too big, (or too small), I’m too tall, too short, stocky, bla bla bla and we NEVER in our wildest dreams for a moment believe that the person was telling us what they really felt, because in our minds we simply could not receive it. 

footnote-  Speaking only as one  man, beauty IS more than skin deep…you can have all the right features and have the personality of a pig, or you can cultivate the inner person of your heart and I will notice.

    Have you ever told someone they’re beautiful, ( handsome, smart, gifted, fill in the blank)  and you could  sense  they didn’t hear  you, by the look  on their face they  discounted  what you said

     What’s happening in those moments is our  core beliefs about ourselves  are  filtering what we’re hearing.  All of us have them-  They determine  our  feelings of worth, competence, belonging, loveablity, security, trust and self reliance.

  And the funny thing is, the little stinkers are hard to spot, they exist below the radar and it takes some real effort to coax them out into the open.

    Our culture  values good looks, athletic abilities  brains and money.   The ironic thing is (especially good looks, athletic ability and money) is they are so fleeting.  If  you as a person have been blessed with good looks,  and you’re not careful, when you get old and things start to sag, wrinkle and   go to pot, it will rock your world to the core. 

    This weekend I had an awesome time of personal reflection.  My name means “Dweller by the dark stream”  (Douglas) so I was just doing what comes naturally.   Anyway I e-mailed a few people a’s a portion of it: 

     “ MY self esteem/ self worth has healed and changed 90% from when I was a kid growing up…people today who interact w/ me in person can not imagine the shy insecure person I was growing up.  I simply am not the same person (Thank God)  Most days, I am living the good life, secure, passionate about life, (not just externally, but genuinely down to the core of my being)..and yet there is still this root of insecurity and fear that occassionally raises it’s flipp’n head that I would like to pull out, roots and all, once and for all..let me see if I can flesh it out for you”
     Hannah sent me list  of possible core belief’s from the book Prisoners of Belief:Exposing and Changing Beliefs that Control Your Life  After perusing this list (which I will post below)  I was able to spot  a “core belief” in my life I didn’t realize was still there….not going to share it with you because of the personal nature of it, but I will tell you, I’ve already begun to address it head on and  I can feel the difference.
      By the way- if you’re a regular reader to my blog and have left a comment in the past,  (that means YOU)….I wish I could sit down with you over a cup of coffee this morning and tell you  how much I appreciate  you as a person.  Do you believe that? 
Here is that list of possible core beliefs
1. I am worthy of love and respect

2. My world is a pretty safe place.

3. I perform many tasks well.

4. I am in control of my life.

5. I feel loved and cared for.

6. I can rely upon myself.

7. The world is neither fair nor unfair.

8. I feel a strong sense of belonging in my family and community.

9. Most people can be trusted.

10. I set reasonable standards for myself.

11. I often feel flawed or defective.

12. Life is dangerous—a medical, natural, or financial disaster could strike any time.

13. I’m basically incompetent.

14. I have very little control over my life.

15. I’ve never felt really cared for by my family.

16. Others can care for me better than I can care for myself.

17. I get upset when I don’t get what I want—I hate to take no for an answer.

18. I frequently feel left out of groups.

19. Many people would like to hurt me or take advantage of me.

20. Very little of what I do satisfies me – I usually think I could do better.

21. I feel OK about myself.

22. I can protect myself from most dangers.

23. Doing some things comes easy for me.

24. I have the power I need to solve most of my problems.

25. I have at least one satisfying intimate relationship.

26. It’s OK to disagree with others.

27. I accept it when I don’t get what I want.

28. I fit in well with my circle of friends.

29. I rarely need to protect or guard myself with other people.

30. I can forgive myself for failure.

31. Nobody I desire would desire me if they really got to know me.

32. I worry about getting sick or hurt.

33. When I trust my own judgment, I make wrong decisions.

34. Events just bowl me over sometimes.

35. My relationships are shallow—if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would notice.

36. I find myself going along with others’ plans.

37. There are certain things I simply must have to be happy.

38. I feel like an outsider.

39. Most people think only of themselves.

40. I’m a perfectionist; I must be the best at whatever I do.

41. I have legitimate needs I deserve to fill.

42. I am willing to take risks.

43. I am a competent person, as capable as most people.

44. My impulses don’t control me.

45. I feel nurtured in my family.

46. I don’t need the approval of others for everything I do.

47. Things tend to work out, even in the end.

48. People usually accept me as I am.

49. I seldom feel taken advantage of.

50. I set achievable goals for myself.

51. I’m dull and boring and can’t make interesting conversation.

52. If I’m not careful with my money, I might end up with nothing.

53. I tend to avoid new challenges.

54. I fear I’ll give in to overwhelming crying, anger, or sexual impulses.

55. I’m afraid of being abandoned—that a loved one will die or reject me.

56. I don’t function well on my own.

57. I feel I shouldn’t have to accept some of the limitations placed on ordinary people.

58. People don’t usually include me in what they’re doing.

59. Most people can’t be trusted.

60. Failure is very upsetting to me.

61. I count for something in the world.

62. I can take care of myself and my loved ones.

63. I can learn new skills if I try.

64. I can usually control my feelings.

65. I can get the care and attention I need.

66. I like to spend time by myself.

67. Most of the time I feel fairly treated.

68. My hopes and dreams are much like everyone else’s.

69. I give people the benefit of the doubt.

70. I’m not perfect and that’s OK.

71. I’m unattractive.

72. I choose my old, familiar ways of doing things over risking the unexpected.

73. I don’t perform well under stress.

74. I’m powerless to change many of the situations I’m in.

75. There’s no one I can count on for support and advice.

76. I try hard to please others, and I put their needs before my own.

77. I tend to expect the worst.

78. Sometimes I feel like an alien, very different from everybody else.

79. I must be on my guard against others’ lies and hostile remarks.

80. I push myself so hard that I harm my relationships, my health, or my happiness.

81. People I like and respect often like and respect me.

82. I don’t worry much about health or money.

83. Most of my decisions are sound.

84. I can take charge when I need to.

85. I can depend on my friends for advice and emotional support.

86. I think for myself, I can stand up for my ideas.

87. I’m treated fairly most of the time.

88. I could change jobs or join a club and soon fit in.

89. I’d rather be too gullible than too suspicious.

90. It’s OK to make mistakes.

91. I don’t deserve much attention or respect.

92. I feel uneasy when I go very far from home alone.

93. I mess up everything I attempt.

94. I’m often a victim of circumstances.

95. I have no one who hugs me, shares secrets with me, or really cares what happens to me.

96. I have trouble making my own wants and needs known.

97. Although my life is objectively OK, I have a lot of trouble accepting some parts that aren’t the way I’d like them to be.

98. I don’t feel I belong where I am.

99. Most people will break their promises and lie.

100. I have very clear, black-and-white rules for myself.


Thoughts, comments, questions?


Jesus and The Belly Dancer

October 26, 2008

    Last night was a first for me.   I saw my first Celtic pub band, a belly dancer, (didn’t actually see her belly ) :-)  a River dance maiden and  Lego Man, all at one place.  The highlight of my night was when  Wylde Nept    took the stage, they looked like this: 

     They even  had cocoa nuts.

     As we were sitting there about 2 hours past my bed time, a moderately drunk young woman comes over  to our table and asks if we were college professors.  (Iowa City is a college town, and I guess in her mind, we had to  be teachers if we were at this place  this time of the night.  

    I’ve talked about this before, but  some of my favorite people to hang out with are your  non churchy types- bikers, people covered with tattoos, you get the idea.

       I think it has something to do with the type of people  I work with.  I’ve discovered,  beneath their (sometimes)   tough exterior most construction workers have a soft heart.    I LOVE to get to know and discover the person behind the mask. 

       Speaking of masks,  last night happened to be an early Halloween party, which explained some of the get ups  we saw, but not all of them.

    Melissa (the friend who invited us out on the town)  mentioned we might  see some belly dancing to the Irish pub music.

      Some of you are probably thinking to yourself, now how does that work???  Well, it works better than you might think. :-)

   Here’s your chance to try a new feature on my wordpress blog…you get to vote  :-) 

    If you do vote, feel free to leave a comment and tell me why you voted the way you did.

Generous To A Fault…Is It Possible?

October 15, 2008

       I need some Input.  Is it possible to be too generous?  Where is the happy medium?


      I have no trouble charging what I need to charge when it comes to my construction business.   If I’m asked to bid on a job, I work up a fair price, if I get the job I get it, if someone wants to do it for less- let them.  Simple, right? :-)  Why is it, then that I can’t apply that same straight forward non emotional decision making process to our other business ventures?

     We have a small Bed and Breakfast business that we run out of our home now that our children have grown.   We do it as much for a tax write off, and a chance to do a little hospitality  as for generating income.  I’ve written before about opening our home to musicians who happen to be traveling through the Midwest.  When I heard one musician was looking for a gig, we wrote them  and told them while we couldn’t host another concert so soon after our last one, they were more than welcome to crash @ our place for a day or two…I would never have thought about making that offer and then say, Oh, by the way, it will cost you just $80.00 per night…you know what I mean.  Based upon some other B and B’s in our area, we could be charging another $15 to $20.00 per night…but then again, there are other ones that are not charging as much as we are…so that’s why we’ve set our rates @ what they are.

     We also have a small apple orchard (this years crop is about 30 bushels) which eventually should produce between 150- 400 bushels a year.    I see it as a hobby, I love to prune, spray, and  pick, it doesn’t feel like work for me, more of a way to unwind.  I put an add in the local paper this week- $1.00 a pound which is cheap compared to what they are charging in the grocery store for some varieties, and yet, I struggle with charging much more until we have the volume to actually have something to offer to the public. 

         In doing some historical research this past year about Lyman Dillon, it was said, he was “generous to a fault”.  He never got rich, because he was always helping out other people.  When I read about him, I thought to myself..he sounded  a lot like me… (I can tell you right now, at the rate I’m going, I too will “never be rich.”  I tend to give it away almost as fast as I can accumulate it…any suggestions?

Chicken Little Christianity

October 13, 2008

      We visited a turkey farm in 2007.    I can still remember the farmer telling us as we approached the buildings to ” Be quiet ” –  not do anything to startle the birds or they might panic.  Do you know what happens when turkey’s (or chickens) get frightened?   They   run to the other end of the building, pile on top of each other and  smother.

    There is something I bump into from time to time among people who should know better I  call “Chicken Little Christianity” 

      Basically,  it works like this.   A piece of fear based nonsense gets passed around by  word of mouth, e-mail, etc. and it causes a stir in the Chicken house, I mean church.   Like this one about the FCC supposedly trying to outlaw Christian radio.       If you’re a regular reader , you know I rarely “rant”  but I’m feeling one coming on.      

   Amber posted something today on Oprah.   (I loved her thoughts by the way, she was right on)   At the end of it she observed some people have  gone so far as to say “Oprah is the Anti-Christ. “  I thought to myself, “Here we go again -“Chicken Little theology,”

     WHY do some Christians have to embarrass the rest of us by their stupidity.????”

     This Summer I got an e-mail  suggesting that maybe Barack Obama was the Anti-Christ.    I thought to myself,  “Come on people, get your head out of the you know where.”

     Back in the mid 90’s I remember a   pastor talking about computer chips supposedly  being implanted in the  hands of people in some Central American country in order to buy and sell, and maybe, just maybe, this was how a portion of the book of Revelations was going to be fulfilled.  

        I’ve been a Christian since 1980.  I’ve been exposed to some of the same nonsense  that you have.   Two of you (Amber,  Sanity Found ) have  talked about it on your blogs  at different times, and I cringed for both of you.

       I’m as familiar with  “Pretrib eschatology” as any Christian.

translation: “Pretrib eschatology”  One school of thought among Christians on how the end of the world will play out according to the Bible. 

      What you rarely hear about (I’m talking to any one still reading this blog piece and gives a hoot)  is that there are at least  2 other schools of thought  that  traditionally have  had as much credence in Church history as the one getting all the press today (and in my humble opinion feed these Chicken Little fears).

     Bottom line-historically, to be a Christian is to suffer, so what’s all the excitement about?

      Maybe- just maybe, it indicates you have way too many eggs in your basket this side of eternity. 

      I’m going to tell you right up front-  If this post ruffles your feathers and you want to make a nasty comment to me on the blog- don’t bother…I’ll just delete it.  If on the other hand you can express yourself graciously, then I  will.   

Thoughts/ questions/ comments?

You asked “How Do You keep Your Relationship Fresh?” and other random questions

October 8, 2008

       I asked a couple of you that know me pretty well if you would be willing to come up with a few questions I could answer for a blog post.  Here’s what you  came up with:

What is your greatest accomplishment? 

   That is a good question.   My greatest accomplishment  is being able to look into the eyes of the woman I  married  almost 30 yrs ago  and still see a woman who is in love with me.

How do you keep your marriage fresh and still remain authentic to who you are?  

      A few things  come to mind.  Both of us are very intentional about personal growth…. whether that means   going to a counselor for  help or being willing to be pushed out of our comfort zones. Those type of things add  freshness to your relationships. 
     Forgiveness…definitely.  Both of us are very intentional about trying not to go to bed with unresolved conflict in our relationships.  Unresolved conflict will ferment  and sour your  relationship, every time.
     Time together, for us probably the most important time together is in the morning.  I bring  coffee to the bedroom before we get up for the day.
      Just speaking for ourselves, I’ve observed there is an “ebb and flow”  in our relationship in terms of emotional closeness .  Dr Dobson talks about how our emotions tend to be responders.  (ie.  do the deed and our feelings will follow)….if your relationship is starting to feel “flat”, maybe it’s because you haven’t been investing time dating, doing little acts of kindness, thoughtfulness….I know that’s true in our lives.

What is the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for your wife?

      That’s a hard one.  I tend to be a romantic in a dozen little ways…I will often call home when I’m driving to work (I would have just walked out the door), or @ break time, lunch time…just to say “Hi” and tell her some silly thing I might be thinking about).  I have put together more than one “surprise” party.   I’m  verbal.  I think most wives long to hear what their husbands are thinking, how his day was, be asked how her day was,  and yea, I have been known to wash the dishes on occasion.

  What is your biggest regret? 
Great question…funny you should ask it because I just had this conversation  the other night. 
     I do not have any regrets @ this point in my life period…none…nada…sure I would do things differently if I had a chance to go back  when our kids were little (and as a younger husband)..but @ the time I was doing what I thought I should be doing..and did things the best I could.
 Looking back through your life, what one moment do you see as a “fork in the road – pivotal” moment? 
  The night I picked  up the phone, pushing past raw fear to  do this : read this post
What exactly do you do for a living?
       I own a construction business with 2 employee’s currently besides myself.  I love my job, every week is different.  Today for example I rented a cement saw and cut an egress window into a basement.  Last week we finished siding an older home.  We also pour concrete, frame houses, and things like that.
Describe….how  you proposed
     We’d been dating for 5 months.   One evening we were out taking a walk around my parents farm, hadn’t talked about marriage before that night, although I had been giving it some serious thought.   I’d been  having  a very strong “nesting urge” (ie.  desire to settle down and start a family vs. run around every weekend partying, so in the midst of our walk, I said I needed to talk to her about something…I looked at her and simply said, “Would you marry me?” ..there was the longest pause …and then she said, “You bet.”  At that point my knees got weak and I had to sit on the ground…the rest is history

   5 foods you hate:  corn,  peas, asparagus, white milk, carrots


 5 foods you love :

  KFC extra crispy, a good rare steak, fresh green beans with new potatoes and bacon, (sorry Winston), and  coffee (coffee is a food group right?)

    If you’d like me to come up with a set of questions you could use to create a blog post, let me know…I would love to.


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