I had an English teacher in 10th grade that helped – we lived in South Dakota, and one of their curricular activities was reading aloud. They had a specific name for it, but I don’t remember what it was. She called on me to read something – everybody had to read – and after I finished, she asked me to stay after class. I never will forget what she said: “when I heard you read today, I almost threw up! You have a wonderful reading voice!” No one had ever told me that before, and she recommended that I do that whatever-it-was. We were only there for a year, so I didn’t do much with it, but it was sure nice to hear!

Someone told me that most people are more worried about what others think of them than they are about me, so that helped me get over the shyness. But honestly, it wasn’t until about 6-8 years ago that I found out exactly what you did: overcoming shyness is a skill that can be learned.

I watched this woman I used to know walk right up to people she didn’t know, tell them her name, and ask them theirs. That started the conversational ball rolling, and then it was just natural curiosity about other people that led the conversation. It’s still ‘way outside my comfort zone, and in some cases, I’m worse with people I am only acquainted with than with total strangers, but I know that I’m better than I used to be.

One thing – I still hate crowds. I don’t know if it’s shyness or something else, but I would rather not go to an event that has more than about 20 people involved than go, even if it’s a “wonderful” event. No matter how much I practice, I still hate things like that. Church, oddly enough, is an exception – up to about 200-250 people, and then I’m back to not speaking to people I don’t know….. Go figure!!

The issue that usually defeats people is their ability to control their anger, and that is just practice. I’ve been angry to the point of throwing things – and it prompted a few raised eyebrows and gentle inquiries, which combined to make me feel a little silly about how I expressed my emotions (not just anger, btw).

Rumplestiltskin was a great story because of what it teaches about naming things: when you put a name on what you feel, it loses a bit of its power to control you – saying “I’m angry about ….” or “that makes me so ANGRY!” can actually help diffuse the head of steam built up by the emotion that, left to its own devices, can ruin people, things, and causes.

Identifying what it is that you are angry about teaches you about yourself and about what it was that prompted you to feel angry. Again, this is just my opinion, but I don’t think we get truly angry often enough at things that ought to make us angry. (I also think we get angry at stuff that truly is just a tempest in a teapot, but that’s a different post).

As far as politics, I get angry at what people – well-intentioned though they may be – do on the basis of their own self-centered desires that jeopardizes our country’s basic freedoms. What that impels me to do is write to my congresspeople, including the ones that I know aren’t going to listen to me, and to recommend that other people I know and respect do the same.

Right after 9-11, I did a “news fast” because it was just too emotionally overwhelming for me to see. After the heartache, my immediate response was anger at the people who did this, and overwhelming support for a national response to seek out those who were behind it and follow them into their caves, under their rocks, or wherever they were hiding and blow them up. I still feel that way, and I still believe, intellectually, that it is the right thing to do.

As far as anger itself, anger motivated Jesus to cleanse the temple of those who were turning God’s house into a den of thieves – yet Jesus was without sin. Ergo, righteous anger is not sin. It’s about what we get angry about. And we should be angrier at sin. Anyway. That’s my – I was going to say two cents, but I think I’m at about a dime’s worth right now!!

She isn’t “Chatty Cathy” yet, but she is an accountant and a Lia Sophia sales person, and is constantly forced to interact with people.

My favorite shy story about Susan occurred when she was in the second grade and attended a Catholic grade school. As with most churches, the church we attended used young kids in their Sunday church services. Even though the teacher knew how painfully shy Susan was, she was forced to use her because Susan could read and pronounce the big words. So, my shy daughter, with her knees knocking, read aloud to hundreds of people.

And everyone thought she was such a gifted speaker. Only her parents and a teacher knew the truth.

Glad you made the journey successfully.

Have you ever wondered how “coincidental” it was that (as a teenaged boy) you would be regularly exposed to an adult that mirrored who you would be if you continued down the path you were on?

Providential Design my friend!

etc.

The Bible states, “Take heed to what you hear.” And somehow, especially for me, not listening to the news keeps me out of anger.