The Buffalo Tavern

April 17th  a young singer/ songwriter/ poet moved into our B and B suite for  3 months. .  It has been so enjoyable to have her in the mix.  Last week she wanted to  watch “The Voice” on NBC.   That sounds like a simple enough  request, but since watching TV is not a priority around here, I had my doubts that the rabbit eared contraption would be able to deliver.  Both the wife and I would much rather read a good book, or spend time in deep conversation.

If you ever come to visit, bring a favorite book and read me a chapter

Below is one of my favorite stories from one of my favorite authors, Robert Fulghum:

_____________________________________________________

One Portion Of A Minister’s Lot concerns the dying and the dead.  The hospital room, the mortuary, the funeral service, the cemetery.  What I know of such things shapes my life elsewhere in particular ways.  What I know of such things explains why I don’t waste much life time mowing grass or washing cars or raking leaves or making beds or shining shoes or washing dishes.  It explains why I don’t honk at people who are slow to move at green lights.  And why I don’t kill spiders.  There isn’t time or need for all this.  What I know of cemeteries and such also explains why I sometimes visit the Buffalo Tavern.

     The Buffalo Tavern is, in essence, mongrel America.  Boiled down and stuffed into the Buffalo on a  Saturday night, the fundamental elements achieve a critcal mass around eleven.  The catalyst is the favorite house band, the Dynamic Volcanic Logs.  Eight freaks frozen in the amber vibes of the sixties.  Playing stomp-hell rockabilly with enough fervor to heal the lame and halt.  Mongrel America comes to the Buffalo to drink beer, shoot pool, and dance.  Above all, to dance.  To shake their tails and stomp frogs and get rowdy and holler and sweat and dance.  When it’s Saturday night and the Logs are rocking and the crowd is rolling, there’s no such thing as death.

     One such night the Buffalo was invaded by a motorcycle club, trying hard to look like the Hell’s Angels and doing pretty good at it too.  I don’t think these people were in costume for a movie.  And neither they nor their ladies smelled like soap-and-water was an important part of their lives on anything like a daily basis.  Following along behind them was an Indian-an older man, with braids, beaded vest, army surplus pants, and tennis shoes.  He was really ugly.  Now I’m fairly resourceful with words, and would give you a flashy description of this man’s face if it would help, but there is no way around it-he looked, in a word, ugly.  He sat working on his Budweiser for a long time.  When the Dynamic Logs ripped into a scream-out version of “Jailhouse Rock” he moved.  Shuffled over to one of the motorcycle mommas and invited her to dance.  Most ladies would have refused, but she was amused enough to shrug and get up.

     Well, I’ll not waste words.  This ugly, shuffling Indian ruin could dance.  I mean, he had the moves.  Nothing wild, just effortless action, subtle rhythm, the cool of the master.  He turned his partner every way but loose and made her look good at it.  The floor slowly cleared for them.  The band wound down and out, but the drummer held the beat.  The motorcycle club group rose up and shouted for the band to keep playing.  The band kept playing.  The Indian kept dancing.  the motorcycle momma finally blew a gasket and collapsed in someone’s lap.  The Indian danced alone.  The crowd clapped up the beat.  The Indian danced with a chair.  The crowd went crazy.  The band faded.  the crowd cheered.  The Indian held up his hands for silence as if to make a speech.  Looking at the band and then the crowd, the Indian said, “Well, what’re you waiting for? Let’s DANCE.”

     The band and the crowd went off like a bomb.  People were dancing all through the tables to the back of the room and behind the bar.  People were dancing in the restrooms and around the pool tables.  Dancing for themselves, for the Indian, for God and Mammon.  Dancing in the face of hospital rooms, mortuaries, funeral services, and cemeteries.  And for a while, nobody died.

    “Well,” said the Indian, “what’re you waiting for?  Let’s dance.”

Excerpt taken from the book All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergartenby Robert Fughum

“The length of our days is seventy years- or eighty, if we have the strength;  yet the span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass….so teach us to number  our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  Psalm 90:10.12

Thursday and Friday night of this week  we stood in a funeral home receiving line to acknowledge the passing of two more people.   Combine that with my cousin Michelle’s unexpected passing and that makes for a busy month.   So, fellow bloggers and Internet surfers, make sure you are not just sitting on the side lines and watching life pass you by.  The Indian said it best.   “Let’s Dance! “

A little something to let you know I’m still alive and well. DM

This first clip is just three minutes long.  It will make your day.

This next one is on

the topic of vulnerability.  Let me know what you think. DM

Grandma was wrong

Picture of me at work yesterday….20 feet in the air/ living the dream ….my dream that is;-)

________________________________________________________

“Oh Doug.. You were such a good student…I really hoped you would go to college.”  grandma said when she found out her eldest grandson was NOT planning to go to college..instead, I had decided to follow in my dad’s foot steps and work in construction.

There was disappointment written all over her face..

I felt bad.  Not until she was dead and gone did I appreciate where she was coming from.  Not until I had children of my own, watched them make life choices  that would affect them  long term… in ways they didn’t understand…then I was finally able to understand my grandma’s concerns…

But Grandma was wrong.

There is more to life than money.  A meaningful life  has nothing to do with material things…

I have a couple of friends who are making 2 and 3 times the amount of money  I do but hate their jobs….

They have full benefits, a 401 K… and they are quick to talk about what they want to do when they retire.

No thank you.

Quoting my dad now...”The word retirement is not in my vocabulary”

(Dad just turned 80 this past year and is still active in construction)

Last week I stopped @ Loes to buy a new  skill saw.

Good morning”  I said to a woman about my age.   She looked tired.

“How are you?” I asked…”(It was about 7 AM..she was  checking inventory)

“I wish I were home” she  replied.

I felt for her..  Her life was not her own.  There were bills to pay…only God knows the series of life decisions and circumstances that have brought her to this place in life….

Last April I was invited to speak at a jobs fair for high school students.

Started by sharing a quote that has cast a long shadow over my life :

“Do what you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

Don’t just settle for a job where you punch the time clock.

You may have to work @ a job  (or three) where you  “punch the time clock” in order to get where you really want to be….

but don’t stop there.. God didn’t create you to be a mindless worker ant ..unless that is what you really love to do.

I remember the pressure I felt  in school trying to figure out what I wanted to do once I graduated.   A real part of me thought I should  be a vet…that was until Mr Guard pulled me to the side one day in the guidance office  and  “suggested ” my grades indicated I probably couldn’t handle vet school.  I know he was only doing his job..but “dream killer” comes to mind  when I think of that conversation.

(years later I built a house for a vet/ told her my story, to which she replied, “Doug, if you really wanted to be a vet,one way or the other, you could have done it.  I didn’t make it the first time or two when I applied to vet school either..if you want it bad enough, you could have done it”)

Two  of my daughters , have  the desire to be a wives  and mothers.

Period.

I remember being @ the ripe old age of 20, having the strongest desire (nesting urge?) to settle down and start a family.

So  I did.

Best decision I ever made.

Pop culture today  mock those kind of  dreams…and I’m here to tell you, pop culture is full of #@$%%.

(that’s  German for incorrect…I’ve been using more German in my blog posts lately  you may have noticed )

If truth be told, pop culture is wrong on just about everything it promotes.
“We’ve  got a form of brainwashing going on in our country.”  Morrie sighed.  “Do you know how they brainwash people?  They repeat something over and over.And that’s what we do in this country.  Owning things is good.  More money is good.  More property is good.  More commercialism  is good.  More is good.  More is good. We repeat it – and have it repeated to us – over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise.  The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what’s really important anymore….

from the book Tuesday’s with Morrie.

_______________________________

If there is more to life than money…what do you think that “more” is?

What in your life brings you satisfaction?

What would you tell the person who is up to their eyeballs in bills, who feels stuck in a dead in job they hate?

DM

Johnny

Friend of mine purchased an old  building, asked if I could help  install a patio door 20 feet up, through an  exterior  wall, covered with Stucco.

(stucco = concrete)

I came prepared.  Brought the  cement saw with a diamond blade.

a handful of new sawzall blades. (they look like sharp steak knives…hold on to that detail)

and two quarts of coffee.

Must have coffee.

My friend had a young man in his early 30′s there to help.

His name was Johnny..

He was built  like a tank.  chiseled,  and had  this hard stoic look in his eyes..

He looked like he belonged  in a  gang.

Construction types  remind me of my dad’s roosters….

Sometimes  I pick up an undercurrent of circling  and sizing  each other up…  like roosters getting ready to spar

Johnny  and I were was no exception.

When I looked at the 4 sections of rickety  scaffolding set up for us to work on, it creeped me out..I told Johnny  I was allergic to heights.   (I really do hate heights btw)

“What???” he said with a sneer ,  “I thought you were  the carpenter, and  you’re telling me you are afraid of heights?”

  “Yep” I  said with a smirk.    Now he really didn’t know what to do with me…

I love to banter w/ tough guys   and soften them up…poke holes in their machismo.

It took me less that   30 minutes  working along Johnny to soften him up ..

He  went from questioning my sanity to thinking I was (his words, not mine  a “Master”).

I jumped on the section of scaffolding below Johnny,  asked him to hand me  the  sawzall.  He let it down by the chord, (it wasn’t running, but the 6 inch  blade was sticking down as he swung it to me).

It slid deeply into my wrist .  I took one look at the wound and  said, “Johnny, I need to go  to the hospital” . 

Johnny said, “You’re kidd’n right?”   “No,  I said,  “I just got stabbed, and need to go to the hospital NOW!” 

           He felt terrible.  “It would be one thing, if you were just some “grunt”, but you are like a “Master” ” he moaned.

Hour and 1/2,  $750.00 later I was back on  the job,  (arm wrapped  w/ 5 stitches)

I tried to supervise when we got back, but it was taking forever.

I  grabbed the cement saw and  went back to work.

  “Man, you are one bad #*&, he said.     

If he only knew.

..pardon the sweat… that’s me showing off

it’s a little trick I know….

you  touch your nose with a 10 pound sledge

very carefully

______________________________________________

Footnote. those of you that are long time readers may remember this post..It was buried in the archives.

50 things to do before I die

“If  you want to know what’s really important to you, make a list.”

The following is an article by Wendy Swallow Williams I clipped out of a Readers Digest in the late 1990′s.

This article changed the quality of  my life.

This morning as I was catching up on what my fellow bloggers were posting,   this  long term life goal jumped off the screen:

“lots and lots of land for gardens, orchards, chickens and room to breathe…” 

  I told this young blogger , she had just described my life to a T.

I can trace the course  of my life the past 15 years  directly back to this short  article.   Since starting the habit of having a “list”  there are literally dozens of things I’ve  checked off.

To say it has enriched my life immeasurably is an understatement.  DM

____________________________________________________________

A few weeks ago, I followed a friend into an art-supply store.  I found him picking out tubes of watercolor paint, which surprised me because he’s not an artist.

“I signed up for a watercolor class, and it starts next week, He said sheepishly.  “I don’t really have time for it, but it was on my list of 50 things to do before I die, so I went for it.”

This sounded interesting,”What else is on the list?” I asked.

“All kinds of things, ” he said.  “Every few months I look at the list and decide what to focus on next.  Before I had a list, I moaned a lot about what I was missing in my life.  Now I just do stuff.”

“Can I see your list sometime?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said.  “It reveals a lot about me.  Write your own list, and you’ll see what I mean.”

So that night I did just that, and he was right.  The list revealed a whole lot about what was important to me.  It also revealed how hopelessly behind I am at getting to the things I really want.

Just writing the list helped me sort through priorities.  I filled up the first 20 blanks quickly, but then began to think carefully.  Eventually I added items I’ve thought about for years, dreams I’ve carried with me since I was young, and things that resonated when I first heard about them.  When I reviewed the list later, some entries surprised me.

First, I want to travel much more particularly now that my children are older and can go with me to see the world.  There are ten trips I would like to make with the boys- from biking through Denmark to camping in the Canadian Rockies.

I was also surprised to find some things on the list that need to be done soon.  If I’m going to learn to Rollerblade, for instance, I’d better start before turning 50.

Some items, though I can put off until I’m older.  I would love to grow flowers,  to really garden, but while I”m raising kids and working I don’t have time for roses.

I would love to do volunteer work in a hospital nursery someday, rocking crying infants and giving them their first baths.   I would like to work with teen-agers,  leading youth groups or helping at the local high school.  If I’m going to do these though, I may need to reconsider running the bake sale for the school fair each year.

A few of the items are intimidating because they mean a serious commitment of some sort.  I would like to publish a novel before I die, and I would like to get a Ph.D, in English literature.  I also would like to learn to draw and play the piano with a string quartet.  If I’m going to accomplish these things, I need to start writing every day and polish my piano skills.

I may not make it through the list.  Some things may just be out of reach, such as New Zealand, and other ultimately may not work with the rest of my life, such as owning a horse.  Yet I see that I already have built the framework for many of these pipe dreams, and that if I make them goals, there is no reason I can’t find a way to taste at least part of that reality.

Like my friend, I now have an alternative do complaining.   When I’m bored with my life, I take out my list.  Maybe I’ll send off for travel brochures or take my pencils out in the back yard and doodle around for an  hour, trying to sketch trees that look like trees.

I have no idea how the boys and I will get to Africa, but if it’s important enough, I’m sure we’ll find a way.  One of them might grow up to be a zoologist, or I might become a nature writer and get sent on assignment or maybe we’ll just save a few dollars every week till we have enough.

I had a cousin who accomplished an amazing string of interesting things.  She once told me the key was preparing so that life could work in mysterious ways. “If you want your ship to come in, you must build a dock,” she said.

Thanks to my list, I’m working on some big docks.

Wendy Swallow Williams

____________________________________

I (DM) will close with a few pictorial highlights off my list….

hosting  concerts in our home and barn.  When Katie Sawicki came to visit we also sponsored a songwriting workshop.

Yep, we went white water rafting in 2010 (that’s my wife in the boat on the right clocking the guy in the other boat with her oar. )  She said it was an accident. 

Had a pet pig I named Winston.  To tell you about that pig would take a whole blog post in itself.

Our orchard started out as a wish/ and idea on my “list”

_____________________________

So tell me, do you have a working list of sorts?

Care to share any items you have yet to check off but plan to  sometime soon?

Someone has said the older we get, the less action oriented our goals become…. What do you think?

What type of relationship goals could be on a list?

It’s that time of year again…

You could hear them coming.

Geese.

It was a crisp Fall morning, The leaves were turning ,  Dean and I  were putting sheeting on a  12/12 pitch roof of  a  $750,000.00 house.

A Kodak moment.

We watched  as the formation flew over us, low enough to throw a rock at…

plop,plop, plop…

goose dung on his shoulder and hat.

Now  it was really a Kodak moment.

Ever since, whenever geese are heading our way, I will  say to whomever is with me…“Hurry, they’re coming!  Look up,  you might get some “geese candy”.    It hasn’t happened since, but I’m always hoping.

Several years ago this same Dean and I were trying to put felt paper on a new roof in the dead of Winter.

The wind was howling,  wind chill was below zero.

it was crazy we were even on a roof.

Finally,  we decided to head for the basement and warm up.

There was an unventilated LP heater hooked up.   It  felt SO GOOD.

1/2 hour later,  we went back on the roof to finish.  The two of us  started giggling like a couple of little girls, the tears were running down our faces.

We decided that we must have been “gassed.” ;-0

Everything was funny.

We could barely hold on to the roll of paper w/o the wind ripping it our of our hands.  The extreme cold. The fact we’d just about been gassed. Everything.

My wife read to me a proverb the other day that said  ”A cheerful heart has a continual feast”  

She said it reminded her of me.

I have a “help wanted” add in the paper this week…. Here’s  what a “DM” “help wanted add looks like:

 Help wanted.  Could turn into full-time.  General construction.  Prefer someone with NO experience.  Must be able to read tape measure, climb, have valid driver’s license and GOOD ATTITUDE.

If I’m going to spend  8 hours of  my day with you, the last thing I want  is  to work with someone who has a dark cloud overhead.  If you think you fit the qualifications, drop me a note.  I have been known to hire women in the past.

 

Enough for now, time to set some cement forms.   Thank for reading along!  DM

___________________________

I originally posted this in 2007.  I was rooting around in the archives this afternoon…there are over 400 posts there..figured some of my newer readers may have never read this one before so I decided to do a little editing and re-post it.  I really may be looking for some help btw..won’t be running an ad in the paper but it looks like I have quite a bit of work coming in the next couple of months..so, if you’re feeling the urge to work in construction…don’t hesitate to ask…you don’t know if you don’t ask DM

If you’re feeling trapped

Maybe you are

We just got home  from a  family reunion..

Seeing most of these people only every 2 or 3 years gives me the  a sense I’m watching  time-lapsed photography…

I used to internally  cringe at these get togethers.

I would compare our families life choices with the other young families in the mix.

5 of the cousins are either Dr’s or have married Doctors.  I suspect several of the Aunts and Uncles are millionaires…

And then there was our family

My wife chose to stay at home as  our  kids came along…

which meant shopping @ Goodwill and garage sales for the kid’s clothes

Renting instead of owning

Driving an older car

bread from the day old store….

you get the picture.

There are lots of people in the world who have it a 100 times tougher..that I know..

but still, it’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap.

Now, 30 years later, our kids are grown,

wife and I are still in love

I’m still working at a job that energizes and stimulates me most days.

money is still tight, but for the most part we are out of debt….

And those earlier choices don’t seem so stupid any more…

I came across the following description in a book a few weeks ago, that described our life to a T:

     “My grandparents lived a simple country life.  They were totally self-sufficient, tilling a small piece of land and raising their own food….there was a sense of unhurriedness  and simple pleasures.  All the money in the world couldn’t buy such luxury in today’s world.  It is not for sale.   You have to create it….

It is unlikely you can ever totally escape from this high-stress world.  We are all on the same train….but to preserve your sanity and achieve a healthy life, you have to make some choices and resolve to live a balanced life.  By a “balanced” life, I mean, that like a marathon runner, you must learn how to pace yourself.  You give it all you’ve got going uphill and rest as much as you can going downhill.  You try to balance the drain on your energy so you can “go the distance”

From the book The Anxiety Cure by Archibald Hart

_________________________________

As I listened to some of the stories this past weekend, I couldn’t help but think about an article I recently read  about rats,   overcrowding and stress.

Because some (not all)  of  my successful relatives are living under a lot of self-imposed stress, .and I thought to myself but are they happy?

They may be making big bucks, but at what cost?

Here’s a link  to that article  if you’d like to read it.      Rat Study

______________________________

If you hear a still small voice calling you to get out of the rat race don’t just ignore it.

It may be the voice of God.

And He can make a way.

I know what you’re thinking…

There is nobody in your life who would understand…

But here’s the deal…30 years from now, you will not regret it….

“If you make it to the top of the company ladder, but loose your family in the process, you are a fool.”

__________________________–

Sorry if this comes across as a little intense.  I don’t mean to be.  DM

Conversation with a Zen Master

Like many Westerners in the late sixties, I wanted to be somewhere else in my religious journey.  Confusion reigned in the kingdom of my mind, and I yearned to construct a framework of understanding that seemed beyond my present cultural tools.  I couldn’t seem to get “there” from “here.”

Zen and its idea of enlightenment appealed to me.  That one might sit very still and empty one’s mind and suddenly be hit by a mighty wave of comprehension beyond words – well, that would do.  Hit me with the big news and let me walk away with a sense of “I get it!”

Took a leave of absence from my dailiness and went off to Japan to get Zenned properly.  Got connected to a temple and a master.  Shaved my head and face, put on the drab grey robe of novitiate, and stood in line to get enlightened.  Figured to become a pretty holy man in pretty short order, like in about six weeks, which was when my return ticket home expired. Right.

But of course it was not to be.  Sitting still gave me hallucinations and cramps, but not enlightenment.  The food gave me diarrhea.  Sleeping on a board gave me a backache.  And my fellow monks treated me like a Western fool, laughing at me behind my back.  It was one of those times when you know enough to realize there’s something everybody but you knows, but you don’t know enough to know exactly what it is you don’t know.

But I did know it was time to leave.

To my surprise, an invitation was extended for an interview with the master of the temple.  Which was like a stock boy being asked to have lunch with the president of the company.

Since it was largely because of his reputation that I had chosen this particular temple, and since he rarely spent time with tourists like me, the master’s invitation seemed a special honor.

Manabu Khohara, Ph. D. in economics from Tokyo University, solver of all Zen koans (mind puzzles) adviser to captains of industry, writer of books, speaker of seven foreign languages, a paradigm of the treat teacher.  Wise, good, respected, accomplished.  If he didn’t have “it” all figured out, then nobody did.

After I was ushered into his private study, we knelt on cushions and bowed our mutual respect.  He out of courtesy and I out of awe.  For a long time he looked at me and into me.

Very deliberately he shifted his weight to one knee, and just as deliberately reached for his backside and scratched himself in a way and in that place your mother told you was a no-no in public.

“I have hemorrhoids.  They hurt and itch.”

There was nothing in my mental manual as to how to reply to such an opening remark.  I kept my mouth shut and pretended to be thoughtful.

“The hemorrhoids come from stress, you know.  From worrying about tourists burning down this firetrap of a temple.  From worrying about trying to get enough funding from businessmen to keep it in repair.  From arguing with my wife and children, who are not as holy” – he smiled – as I am.  And from despairing over the quality of the lazy young fools who want to be priests nowadays.  Sometimes I think I would like to get a little place in Hawaii and just play golf for the rest of my life.”

He leaned to one side and scratched himself again.

“It was this way before I was “enlightened” you know.  And now it is the same after enlightenment.”

A long pause while he silently gave me time to consider his words and actions.

Rising, he motioned me to follow him to the entrance alcove of the temple, and we stood before an ancient scroll I had often passed.  He said it was time for me to go home, where he felt I had been a “thirsty man looking for a drink and all the while standing knee- deep in a flowing stream.”  Yes…..

from the book It was On Fire When I lay Down on it.  by Robert Fughum

_______________________________________________

DM here   Grant Wood (artist of American Gothic fame)  grew up just a stones throw from where we live.  He traveled all over the world studying the masters of paint  and palate . Eventually he  returned home to Iowa, formed an artist colony and painted profusely until the day he died.

I love that line  “thirsty man looking for a drink and all the while standing knee- deep in a flowing stream.”

Someone once told me if I had to go somewhere else in order to be happy..it wouldn’t take long and I wouldn’t be happy there either.

We tend to take our baggage with us.

American Gothic  DM Style

While you can…

“The Greeks didn’t write obituaries when someone died…they just asked one question….”Did he have passion?”  From the Movie Serendipity

50 Things to do before you die

In 1999 I read an  article in Reader’s Digest  that changed my life.   It was called “50 Things to do before you die”

Wendy Swallow Williams, the author  suggested  writing a list of things you’d  like to see happen.

This was 10 years before The Bucket List  craze.

Anything could be on the list.

It revealed much about the person.

As you would write the list, don’t  let money be a factor; just take some time to dream.  Before you die, If God would make a way, what are fifty things you’d like to do?

Maybe you’d like to take a trip…or several trips.

Maybe you’d  like to learn how to play the piano or ride in a helicopter.

Maybe you’d take a 6 month extended trip across the United States and see people and places.

The key was  to take some quiet time and let your mind dream.  Wendy  had listed several places she wanted to visit, skills she wanted to acquire, etc.

I spent some time and identified 25 things I wanted to  do…if you’ve never done this sort of thing before, it is not as easy as it sounds.

__________________________________________________________________-

It’s been 13 years since that first list…here is a portion of  my current list:

1.  Take a cross country motorcycle trip

(I did end up getting an 800 CC Suzuki  Intruder/  got my license…rode it for a couple of years then changed my mind…too many people locally were getting killed on bikes.  I’m not so concerned about dying.  It’s getting into a motorcycle accident and living the rest of my life in a wheel chair...that concerned  me.

2.  Work on a potter’s wheel   (done)

3.  Take a trip to Ireland

4,  Write a book   (done)

5.   Run the mile without stopping

6.  Learn how to swim

7.  Take an extended trip (several months if possible) across the US and see people and places

8.  Record a song  (done)

9. Take a painting class  (done)

10.  Have a Bed and breakfast  (done)

11.  Speak in front of a large crowd  (I’m thinking @ least 5000 ) (I love to push that fear envelope)

12. Take a class in self -defense  (done)

13.  Learn how to make wine

14.  Visit Germany,  the areas of our family’s heritage

15.  Visit New Zealand

16.  Host an outdoor concert among our apple trees (done)…(  and we’ve had 7 of them since I first wrote this list)

17.  Be totally out of debt including our mortgage ( 99% done on this one)

18.  Go whitewater rafting, (done)

19.  Float down our local river until it connects to the Mississippi River.

20 .  Take up kayaking w/ my wife

21. learn to fence (as in swords)

22. sing or perform in a band or music group that sounds excellent

23.  plant apple trees and beautify our grounds (done)

24.  get up close to a gorilla/ look into his eyes.

25. ride 1 day @ least in RAGBRAI  (it is a week long bike ride across Iowa)

26. not be overweight and keep it off  (I dropped 35 pounds 2 years ago/ got too thin/ I’m just 5 pounds above where I’d like to be currently)

27. complete a Narnia display  on our property complete with a wardrobe and false back door leading into the woods

28. learn how to play fiddle

29.  scuba dive with tanks

30.  get a really good camera w/ a zoom and close up lens so I can perfect my picture taking abilities

31.  grow 75% of our own food

32. learn how to butcher a large animal

33. visit Muir Woods

34.  Ride the train from Saint Paul to  Seattle too see friends

35.  Take a road trip down the coast of Oregon from Seattle into California

Hopefully you’ll not come away with the thought I’m advocating  a ‘health, wealth, and prosperity gospel” because I’m not.  On the other hand, some of us have gone to the other extreme, thinking it would be nonspiritual to have such a list.

As much as anything, my bucket list has enriched my life 10 fold.  It has allowed me to channel my energy (passion) for life and see tangible fruit.

My mother-in-law was in her mid 60′s when she passed away.  She told me just a few years before she died of brain cancer not to wait until I was her age to travel and do those things she’d always wanted to do but never seemed to find the time or money to pull off.   Her husband (my father-in law) and already died @ this point..he was in his early 60′s when he’d died….so at the time of my conversation with her, she was planning a trip to Ireland with a girl friend…

      “Doug, she said, do those things  you want to do while you can…there  is no guarantee you’ll be able to  later….look at me..Jack and I planned to travel and do these things when he retired…we never made it….”

That conversation gave me permission to pursue my life with even more passion, if that is possible…

 Someone with passion

Dad

Old newspaper clipping  dad running a transit

Dad worked  the equivalent of 2 full time jobs  all the while  I was growing up.

I don’t remember seeing much of him except on the weekends.

It wasn’t until  mom had a run in with cancer that priorities and family patterns started changing.

Definitely never heard “I love you” or  “I’m proud of you” those early years.   though I’m sure both were true…we just weren’t a verbal / “touchy -feely” family.  I didn’t really know what a hug was until I married into my wife’s family.

It wasn’t until I was  in my early 40′s that dad asked if he could take me out for breakfast on my birthday.

It was a stretch.

The only thing we felt comfortable talking about those first few birthdays  was work.

That year, Dad began taking all of my siblings out when our birthday’s rolled around.   He  wanted to invest in  and regain some of the ground lost from our youth.   A few years later, my siblings and I decided it would be good to take him out for breakfast on his birthday.

Siblings taking dad out for his birthday

Yesterday we had a surprise  party for his 80th birthday.  The four of us kids invited  people  he had worked with over the years to a buffet at the local truck stop.

He didn’t see it coming

 yesterday morning

I’m feeling nostalgic today….can you tell?

Here are some random things I’ve picked up from my dad.

#1  “Retirement is not in my vocabulary”  He is still working, though not quite as intensely as he did 10 years ago.  He was pouring concrete walls last Saturday morning with  my uncles crew at a dairy set up.  He loves what he does (farms 240 acres of ground and part-time  construction.)  Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life

#2  “Look people in the eye when you talk to them, and have a firm hand shake.“  Yep.  If you ever meet me in person, expect both.  I got both of those traits from my dad.

#3  It is possible to love the same woman your whole life time.

Mom and dad celebrated 55 years together last Fall…and they still like each other.

#4   Real men have a spiritual dimension to their lives.     He is not just a “go through the motion” type  of guy.

I’ve watched him   wrestle with what  it means to bring your faith with you to the construction arena.

#5  I’ve definitely picked up the  “farming bug” and love for animal  from my dad.

#6 Heart of mercy.  Yep, got that one from him for sure. I remember one time, our family dog had taken a liking to fresh chicken. ie.  he got into the chicken house and killed several hens.   Dad took the dog out behind the barn to put him down…cause once a chicken killer/ always a chicken killer…that’s just how it works.   Dad came back in the house a few minutes later and said. he just didn’t have the heart to shoot the dog…it just sat there on its haunches, looking him in the eyes,  with a guilty look.

#7  “Your word is your bond.  If you tell somebody something, then by golly, you need to follow through on it.”  In the mid 1970′s  one of the local banks in our community decided to build .  It was built on a handshake between dad and the bank president.  I’m serious.  Things are still done around here on a handshake on occasion.

#8  If you win every job you bid, then you’re probably too low.   Profit is not a dirty word.  Regardless of what the politically correct crowd would have you believe today.

#9 Attitude.   There is power in a positive attitude….and I DO have some control on what I allow my mind to think on.

I remember dad reading Norman Vincent Peal’s book, the Power of Positive thinking….to this day, those thoughts are with me.

#10   Hair is sooooooooooo  over rated.  I’ve got my receding hair line from my dad and by the look of things, have passed it on to my son.

It’s never too late to set some new patterns in your life.   Even in your 70′s and 80′s you can do it if you want.  You really can.

Well, it feels like it’s about time for my power nap.   DM