This first clip is just three minutes long. It will make your day.
This next one is on
the topic of vulnerability. Let me know what you think. DM
You’ve probably heard if we have just one or two deep long term friendships we should count ourselves blessed.
“You can sit by me if you like,” Jarret said to me at lunch today
“Do you know why I asked you to sit by me?”, he asked.
“No, Why do you ask me to sit by you?” I replied.
“Because I like you! “he said with a shy smile.
Jarret is 4 years old.
He has been asking me to sit by him now for the past three weeks.
Our crew is building a shop at their farm.
The family has invited us in for lunch almost every day we’ve been on the job.
When I sit down at their 14 ft farm table I think,...this is what it must have felt like to be a part of a large threshing crew..
Grant Wood’s Dinner For Threshers
People with a real gift of hospitality are a dying breed.
Even here in Iowa.
It’s one thing to invite a few close friends over for lunch once in a while..
I scratch your back, you scratch mine..right?
Well, …it’s a completely different ball game to cook lunch for a construction crew of 4 , 5 days a week, for the better part of a month.
Today lasagna was on the menu
Yesterday I thought Jarret’s mom had asked if I wanted a piece of “cheese cake” for desert?
“Yummy I said..I love cheese cake…!
“No” she replied, I said “sheet cake”
Well, today, guess what we had for desert?
Cheese cake topped with a blueberry filling.
I had to pry the guys away from the table today….
They did not want to go back to work.
John said it was the best tasting lasagna he’d ever had.
While I’m thinking about it..here’s a recent crew photo
I work with a great bunch of guys.
The morale on this crew is second to none.
Nothing worse than working around someone with a bad attitude.
At this point in my life, when I’m looking to hire someone, the numero uno thing I am looking for is
I don’t care if you don’t know how to properly hold a hammer or read a tape measure.
I can teach you those things.
What I really detest is a whiner or someone with a dark cloud following them around.
I am really enjoying the guys that is helping me out this Winter.
As I write this, I feel like I’m starting to fade….4:30 AM comes pretty early
Jarret’s comments were still rolling around in my head when I got home from work, and I wanted to tell you about it…
Yea, I’m assuming I have a couple of regular readers
There is just something serendipitous about a 4 year old requesting that I be his lunch buddy 3 weeks in a row.
I am a rich man.
I will miss Jarret when the job is done…
Heck, I will miss the whole family…
Here is a picture of the shop we’ve been working on:
End view of shop
One last thing before I sign off…
Did you know what the word Hospitality literally means?
Hospitality: Lover of strangers
I believe it is more caught than taught…
Jarret is growing up in a home where it is being modeled in a powerful way….
If I were a betting man, someday when he has a home of his own, he will also know how it’s done….
Is there anyone in your life, with the gift of hospitality? Tell me about them.
Had a little drama on my other blog last night.
A mother recently left a comment on a blog post sharing about the heartache she has been going through with an older son….well, Son got onto the computer that was still logged onto my post her comment was still visible.
He was not a happy camper.
Having personally experience 18 years of parental hell myself, ( it started when our oldest was about 14..and is only just now tapering off 19 years later as child #4 is finally getting his bearings) I have some perspectives on parenting I wish I could have tapped into so many moons ago.
So for what it’s worth, if I had the opportunity to sit down and talk with this distraught mother (and her slightly dysfunctional son) here is what I would tell them…
First to the Young man.
I would sit across the table , look him in the eyes and say.. ” It’s time you grow up. You need to move out and get a place of your own. It’s going to be tough…financially and every which way..but the truth is, you do not appreciate what your parents have been doing for you and you need an attitude adjustment. I might (might have) considered letting you stay here a little longer if you had been willing to play by the rules of our home..but as it is, the drinking, smok’n and blatant disrespect for your mama is the last straw…. You need to be out by the end of the week. period.”
“Mom…I know you love your little cub.. you love him dearly..unfortunately, at this point, he doesn’t feel it. and he will continue to disrespect you and break your heart until he comes to his senses. and that may take getting to the end of himself. When that finally does happen. he’ll be back and you’ll have a new son.”
Parents..(especially moms) have a tendency to short circuit the natural consequences of of poor life choices ..the result is, our children continue to flop and flounder and get into all sorts of heartbreaking situations…heartbreaking. and we keep bailing them out... you need to stop. if they get busted, let the natural consequences of their choices unfold…period.
When I was in the middle of it all, there was a time when I felt like an elephant was stepping on my chest…the stress and pressure was crushing. I told someone yesterday, I felt like I went through an emotional wood chipper.
I am not the same dad I was going into the parenting gig, 30 plus years ago.
I’ll never forget the time I sat across the table from my 14 yr old daughter who I had just brought home..she’d ran away for 3 days, had no intention of coming home..( I knew where she was, it was just a matter of reeling her in)…
I sat across the table looking @ her …anger, defiance rebellion,contempt written all over her face
She was our strong willed one….that rebelliousness needed to be broken… to break the rebellion but not break the spirit.. you can do it..in fact, if you don’t you will never have real peace… so I gave her two options…put her in a girls school, or spend a week @ my cousins and his family..(which she really , really did NOT want to do either,for reasons I am not @ liberty to tell you)…. It was a watershed moment in our relationship. She is still a strong willed young lady. Yea, we went through a lot more after that, but @ least she knew if push came to shove, I was not going to back down.
I taught a high school shop class for a year…I discovered the same dynamics that made for healthy relationships with my older children also made for healthy relationships in the class room with a group of rowdy young men…
First they needed to know who was in charge…call it what you want, respect/ fear..maybe a little of both…
Secondly…love..they needed to feel that I genuinely liked them… and I did..
Once in a while, they would test me just to see if I was still in charge….
Here’s how it works in Realville :
teacher first- friend second..
Parent first- friend second.
boss first/ friend second.
Feel free to do otherwise DM
This post is still in a rough draft form, but wanted to post it, so I could get some initial feedback. DM
I’m going to get right to the point on this one. I met Joy probably 4 years ago now because both of us were using WordPress to blog. While I’ve never met her in person, she has become a friend in real life.
About a month ago, she found out she had some type of cancer that affects her blood.
She has been uncharacteristically quiet on her Facebook involvement, so I shot an quick e-mail to a mutual acquaintance earlier this week who sent me an update.
She needs a blood marrow donor and unless there is at least a 90% match, they won’t even attempt the procedure.
I’m sorry if some of the medical details are a little sketchy…I’m not @ liberty to tell you much more than this…in fact, I’m not even going to link back to her blog because I don’t have her permission and I know she’s in the fight of her life..don’t want to bother her with something like that.
One of the things that has surprised me most about blogging (I’ve been @ it now since late 2007) is how some blogging relationships have turned into real, honest to goodness friendships, some of them quite significant.
I (DM) looked into becoming a bone marrow donor this week after getting the update on Joy. It sounded like the marrow donor program are really looking for people between the ages of 18 to 44 so they kind of discouraged me from registering
So couple of things…if you are a person of faith, and believe in the power of prayer, please remember Joy the blogger in your prayers..and secondly, if you’re under 44 years of age, I would really invite you to consider getting registered w/ the bone marrow donor bank…sounds really simple and easy to do…
Thank you in advance! DM